Hi Bill, I dont know if "we crossed posted" or you saw my last post. My axH I think, misses the fact that has lost me. I was reading the interpretation of the title of the last Bond movie :Quantum of Solace. It said it means the apsolute minimum quantity of caring romantically for someone that allows the possibility of bringing back the real emotion again. Somehow, it struck a chord (that's how you say it?). Even if he realises it or not, that's what brought me here now. That's what gave him this chance. The absolute minimum quantity of "love", a weak little spark that could become fire again or may die quietly...
These last few days, and today with him asking a real kiss, I realised that maybe the pace is good for me now too. I couldnt kiss him. We have to take it slow. Slow for him means meeting once week is enough, for me means "build the bridges slowly again" even if we spend 24 a day together. We have to make the two come together soon so we both know towards which direction we are heading and how... K
Sounds to me like you had a nice day....I am a little confused. I am not sure what you expect from H. Maybe you aren't either. What happened in the last couple of days and what is this mission you are on?
I would have liked it if he stayed once the kids were in bed to TALK to me. To try to connect. To talk about the past, the future, how it felt today for both of us...
Something tells me that he would have gladly accepted....but that is just me. At worst he would have come on a little stronger than when you were lying down with your daughter. If I may just add a little suggestion (which will undoubtedly get me in trouble with the ladies). Often, woman do not ask for what they want and then are disappointed (or worse) when they do not get it. Maybe I am just out in left field.....at this point I think you need to ask for what you want or at least drop some hints.
I tried to find you last night, but after the computer denied my search, I was too drunk to have the patience to wait and went to bed. Thus, I'm here today in the late afternoon catching up on you.
Things do sound good w/ you and axH. Keep your pace at the speed that is comfortable for you. I think he's ok w/ it. He seems to show you the respect you are looking for. In time it will continue to be better and better.
I'm glad you are trying and seeing if you can do this w/ axH. FG posted this to you, and I completely agree:
Quote:
If there is something bigger and better out there for you.. that won't change
We both know he's right about this and now is the time you have to focus here on axH, your family and repairing your M. If it isn't to be, it doesn't change your future. However, now is the only time you have to try to make it work, so I'm glad you realize the opportunity you have and are working at it.
Keep going one day at a time. He's trying and as Jeff said, you are leading w/out calling it "leading." You know what to do and are doing it well.
Wow! what a beautiful day!! I love what he said, "it's my name day..."
I think you should tell him you were disappointed when he left. just honest. I think he would b encouraged by that.
I think your love language is "time together". What do you think?
the passionate marriage guys' practice IS in colorado, but if you call them they can refer you to other people maybe closer to greece. they also have a german website for some reason so who knows, maybe they have greek speaking trained therapists too. if it is too expensive or confusing to call colorado from greece I can do it after my recital (in a week) and email you the info.
Ohh.. Kalni.. wins on the music to emotion thing. (I am gonna point that out later)
Off we go..
"We went out for lunch, just the four of us, to a very nice restaurant I picked and he was thrilled, he loved the food (I did too)."
He always did trust your judgment. He always knew you had a "Eye" for things. Heck.. I knew that a long time ago.. even if you didn't ask.. you still wanted me to post.
"He did initiate hugs and kisses and wanted a real kiss at a point but I wasnt into it and said I dont want to."
This.. I was afraid of.. I suspected that he would think things were "OK".. just in you making the choice to "come back". This right here scares the he*l out of me. It also points out the fact.. he is still a DAM.. He got a real kiss on the stairs.. but now he is "lacking". My question is.. what was different on the stairs? Maybe if he was standing on some stairs.. things would have been different. <---- Sarcasm!!!
"I was disappointed he got up and left before the kids went to bed."
You wanna bet on whether he felt frustrated or not? A DAM will cut his losses.. when he does not know what to do.
"We were all day with the kids and that is how we were before the bomb. I was surpised he didnt stay, especially since the next time we will meet again will be next weekend..."
People go with what they know.. to a fault. All this stuff going on around you feels similar does it not? What kind of "Drama" will we have next? What can we do to stop the "Drama"?
"I feel more focused and on the right track. Something happened the last few days in my mind, I am on "a mission"..."
Thats some strong words. You know I always get concerned when people make blanket statements. What is your "mission"?
How focused are you.. and are you focused on the right things?
I agree.. you are on the right track.
"Anyway, that's all from me. A good day overall..."
Small steps. Consistently.
Now...
Relax Eat Think Act normal React.. Smartly. Do something different. Emulate. Do Work.
I had never heard this song.. which was surprising to me.
I liked it.. I always listen first.. without the video.
But.. here are the words.. with my take on it.
Comfortable as I am.... I need your reassurance! And comfortable as you are... You count the days?
But if I wanted silence.. I would whisper! And if I wanted loneliness... I'd choose to go! And if i liked rejection.. I'd audition! And if I didn't love you! You would know!
And why can't you just hold me... And how come it is so hard. And do you like to see me broken? And why do I still care. still care?
You say you see the light now.... At the end of this narrow hall. I wish it didn't matter. I wish I didn't give you all....
But if I wanted silence. I would whisper! And if I wanted loneliness.. I'd choose to go! And if i liked rejection.. I'd audition. And if I didn't love you.. You would know!!
And why can't you just hold me? And how come it is so hard. And do you like to see me broken? And why do I still care.
Poor little misunderstood baby. No one likes a sad face. But I can't remember life without him... I think I did have good days.. I think I did have good days.
Why(why) can't you just hold me? And how come it... is so hard. And do you like to see me broken? And why do I still care.
The thought.. is.. thru the whole song.. Why can't you see me?
She has so much hope.. and is waiting on him to act. She is waiting on him.. to make her life complete. I see her posting here one day.
You still win.. hands down.. on one of the best songs ever. It shows.. who you are.. and where you want to be.
