I have been sensing something strange is going on with my H. I didn't know if it was the events of Monday (my reacting to himsnot discussing his Christmas plans with me prior to making reservations for him and his D), the problems he has been having on a case or the death of our dog. This week he has been really backing away from me but things made a lot more sense when I spoke with my H this morning. My H had previously told me that his partner and his W were having marriage difficulties and recently separated. This news had really surprised me because my H had always decribed his partner's wife as his partner's biggest cheerleader and that they had a great M...BUT recently the demands of the business were interferring with their relationship just like it was with ours. My H told me this morning that his partner is having an affair with someone (MOW) who works for one of their clients (MLC???) and has put the client relationship in jeopordy. My H may have to step in and try to salvage things with the client when his work load is already overwhelming. My H is justifiably extremely angry at his partner for a multitude of reasons.

My H's anger that was subsiding is now resurfacing...only difference is that it isn't directed toward me. He still just wants to be left alone.

I feel bad for my H. I feel bad for the W of my H's partner. My H said he tried to talk to and explain that he would just be doubling whatever problems he has if he divorces his W. Hmmm...my H should listen to his own advice.

I can not believe the difference a week makes. Last week my H and I were away from here and everything felt so right and comfortable...now it feels like our world has somehow changed...again. When I called my H this morning, he made it sound like he didn't know when he would have the time or energy for me...he said maybe I could talk to him for an hour tomorrow. I asked if he wanted to go to our regular C appointment on Monday and at first he said he didn't know if he would have the time. Later he told me that maybe he would go for C and then go back to work. I couldn't help but ask if there was any reason to go to C when he doesn't have time to work on the M. He said he would let me know. I tried to explain to my H today that things would be easier if we were living together. He implied that it would be difficult for me to handle his anger and him wanting to be alone...maybe so.

And to top it off, if my H is on overload now, it will on get worse because he has 3 back to back trials starting at the end of this month. His only time off will be spent with his D when they go away together at Christmas.

I have mulled over all the scenarios in my head...do I just keep doing what I am doing? Do I say enough is enough? Do I just go out and re-establish a life without him? This feels so cruel...to be tossed crumbs with the insinuation that there will be more coming. I feel like I can't do anything because of my H's current situation.

Looks like I have to detach, GAL, have no expectations, blah, blah, blah. Will this roller coaster ever end??? \:\(