Thanks for popping round, I needed a friendly face !
Christmas, nope, I'll be home and loving it. I'll have the kids for part of Christmas and the rest I'll spend with family and friends, I'll be fine, I'm sure. I plan to make it a cozy and warm Christmas, lots of baking and cookie making !
I get the kids for new year's too...that's fantastic ! I'll ask lots of friends over I think !
How are you? Thanks so much for popping round, TRULY I needed a friend ! xxx
Love Cinders xxx
"In the depths of my winter, I realized there is within me an invincible summer" Albert Camus
The reason he can be the way he is at home is because he does not have to put on an act for you.
The Bomb: 08/05 H moves out: 06/2006 H moves back: 01/07 & Out again: 01/07 H moves back: 03/08 & Out again: 04/08 H moves back: 05/09 & Out again: 07/09 Divorced 08-12 Kids: 22, 20, 19
Cinders, Remember...they were masks for different situations. With you, the mask is dropped, stowed away because he knows he can be the "old/real" h w/you and you won't buy into the new and improved person he portrays himself to be to others.
When he is with others, another mask comes out and is put into place. This mask is very difficult to wear 24/7. It's putting on a show that says "hey, look at me....I'm young, doing my own thing and I am the can do man". He isn't always going to be that happy man, there are times when he's so tired and depressed about the situation. That young lady doesn't have a clue and when it all catches up w/him, she's going to see a different side of him all together.
She's excited to have caught an older man, a man w/a good job, good standing in the community. In my world she's called a "gold digger". There will come a time when he'll start to tell her what he wants and how he wants it. Right now, the euphoria of that relationship is still running strong. Why? Because he's really not had a lot of time to focus on himself or to think about what he's done to you and his little family. He's still in the running mode.
Cinders, as you continue to detach and move on w/your life, you are going to start seeing and hearing the curiousity he has about your life. Why? Because you aren't allowing him to be the center of your world any longer. He's going to start to sense that you've moved on and he has lost you in some ways. That's okay. He needs to understand that he can't have the best of both worlds and that one day your world will change completely and that is when his world will be rocked to the core because Cinders will no longer be there for him, as you've always been in the past.
Cinders, I do hope and pray that he gets his act together very soon and realizes what he had at home.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Cinders I can empathise with what you are saying here. My H is very similar. Even my son has noticed it. My H took son to a works dinner when son came home he said it was like his dad had a totally different personality!! He said he saw him outside chatting up two women, laughing and joking.
My son may have got the wrong end of the stick … it isn’t his perception that is important just the fact that he noticed the difference in his fathers personality.
The changes in my H are so dramatic that they actually scare me. I wonder if I ever knew him at all… is this the real H or was the man I was married to the real person.
You are not alone in experiencing this – not that that makes it any easier to understand ..
Nutty x
Be The Greener Grass.
Me 40 H 42 Son 11 Married 15 years. Left May 2006 after gambling spree I had EA August 2006 OW Aug 07 after another gambling spree (she will make me happy - stop me gambling!) I filed for divorce 9th April 2008.
Snodderly and Nutty....thanks because I know you truly understand !
(Ooooh)
It's been the longest winter without you I didn't know where to turn to See somehow I can't forget you After all that we've been through
Going coming thought I heard a knock Who's there no one Thinking that I deserve it Now I realize that I really didn't know If you didn't notice you meant everything Quickly I'm learning to love again All I know is I'm gon' be ok
[Chorus:] Thought I couldn't live without you It's gonna hurt when it heals too It'll all get better in time Even though I really love you I'm gonna smile cause I deserve to It'll all get better in time
I couldn't turn on the TV Without something there to remind me Was it all that easy To just put aside your feelings
If I'm dreaming don't wanna laugh Hurt my feelings but that's the past I believe it And I know that time will heal it If you didn't notice boy you meant everything Quickly I'm learning to love again All I know is I'm gon' be ok
[Chorus:] Thought I couldn't live without you It's gonna hurt when it heals too It'll all get better in time Even though I really love you I'm gonna smile cause I deserve to It'll all get better in time
Since there's no more you and me It's time I let you go So I can be free And live my life how it should be No matter how hard it is I'll be fine without you Yes I will
[Chorus: x2] Thought I couldn't live without you It's gonna hurt when it heals too It'll all get better in time Even though I really love you I'm gonna smile cause I deserve to It'll all get better in time
Love Cinders xxx
"In the depths of my winter, I realized there is within me an invincible summer" Albert Camus
