I think to be honest this is much more me; the pre all this happening to me, me. I didn't used to ever put up with cr@p, that immediately changed when he left and I went into desperate/ pursuing mode. Now I just seem to be continually putting up with it. It isn't doing me any good.
My plan before talking to Jody was to not mention that I know about the ow and to carry on but the reason I was in turmoil about doing was this is because it wasn't being true to myself. Ignoring his behaviour and letting him not tell me things when I already know feels like it is 'condoning' his behaviour. It isn't working, he moved in with the ow and a relationship has developed. She is childish, I am more mature and I intend to act with the utmost dignity. Jody immediately said I should address the issue. The rest of the email were my feelings and wishes, she just helped me construct it in a good DBing way.
I cannot be emotional in this and have to show continuity with my previous emails to reinforce my changes - which are now real, for me not for him. If I continue to brush this under the carpet I feel that it will not improve the situation, he needs to feel some consequences to his actions and although I do not intend to be the one to impose these I do intend to set boundaries. That email he sent me was just cr@p. I am not going to be weak, I am not going to shout and beg him for an explanation and I am no longer going to pander to his guilt and gutlessness. I am 'done' in that department. I am perfectly willing to still be friendly as I have been.
I know he is in crisis but I am just not sure how long I can continue without being true to myself. So far with my Dbing I have remained true to myself but if I ignore this I won't be. I didn't even say any of this to Jody and she said I should let him know that I know. I trust her and to be honest I have nothing to lose at this point.
I really appreciate all your help and support with this. I am going to think about the wording over the next few days. It is so nice that you are all here watching my back for me I truly appreciate it.
It is a very bold move for me and it is going to take a lot of courage to send and even more courage to receive the reply.
