re-fill on the hope

[Livin4ME]

whitelight...it sounds like you need to find yourself. As hard as it is...find things you enjoy to do. I don't know your sitch, but to me, life is not about who has won and who has lost. It's about doing what is best for you. If others see that as losing...well, that's their issues, not your's.
I understand how hard it is because like you, I have no career (yet!), I have no money, other than what STBX gives me, no romantic relationship, my family lives in another state and my friends I have met thru STBX.
You're starting over. It's hard! Look into getting involved in your community. Save up some money for some night classes, not necessarily academics, but cooking, scrapbooking, something you enjoy doing. Something I enjoy doing is sitting at night, after the kids go to bed, doing a puzzle with a glass of wine. I limit myself to one glass so I don't start wallowing in my self pity! I paid $15 for the puzzle and I'm gonna be working on it for a while!
I'm not sure if you have kids, but take this time to do things for yourself!! Go for a walk! If you have kids, take them with you. Get out of the house, it's amazing how much better I feel if I'm able to get up, dressed and just get out for a little bit. Go to a park and watch the kids play. Walk around the mall, windowshopping. Make a wish list for yourself while you're there, so that when you are able to save up some money, you know what you want to spend it on.
Surround yourself with positive influences. This is about you now. Not about your X. It's about you getting a healthy lifestyle for yourself. You can do it! Start with some simple goals. And when you're able to accomplish some of them, you'll be able to look back and say, "wow, look at what I've done for myself!"
Take Care