I need to post here because this has become a community for me. I come here on a daily basis and check around how people are doing. I need to have an ongoing post myself though so that people can hold me accountable!
I am getting so done with the dating scene. I HATE dating! I am all dated out! And yet...I'm lonely. ;( Okay, so need to handle this. Need to come up with some good alternatives.
I also need to come up with some goals.
Today I feel like a failure. In the game of life my ex has won and I have lost. I'm not feeling bad about this. It is just pure objective fact.
He is surrounded by friends and family, a romantic relationship and now a child. He has plenty of money and a successful career.
I am poor with no career, no romantic relationship, my family lives in another state and my friends are cool, but busy living their own lives.
So looking at this what do I see? I see that maybe he was right. Maybe I just wasn't good enough. I didn't meet the grade. Maybe I will never amount to anything. Maybe I will keep trying, but just never actually succeed.
I pray. I read. I have moments of happiness like pockets of warm water in the ocean. But mostly I have failed in making my dreams come true.
Being thrown away and abandoned zapped me of so much life energy. I often float between places of a complete loss of motivation and boredom/loneliness.
I sound depressed, but I don't have any health insurance to get some AD's.
