I'm not sure on how to approach this. The one thing I am quite sure of however, is that I have NO EXPECTATIONS.
Recently my wife has made more statements about being confused. I have heard the following:" I'm so confused."-"I want things to work,I just don't know??"-"I sometimes feel like we have past a certain point, grown apart."-"I feel like if I come back you will never let me live this down.""You will hang this over my head." I have stated I understand your feeling that way,but I really don't agree with you about forgiveness, the past is the past.
I dropped my kiddies off at daycare Friday morning. Our daycare providers are absolutely wonderful. They are very spiritual and involved in church. They are involved in a group for married couples and teach bible study. Their group played a huge part in bringing the movie Fireproof to our town. They took my wife and I to see the movie and after that she put the D on hold for awhile.
After a couple of backslides by me she started to pick things back up as far as the D is concerned. Since I have pretty much been dark. We haven't had but a few conversations, I have been very up beat and positive and they have went well. I let her do the contacting and I only answer a few calls. I am pleasant but short. She has stated to me that she feels I am avoiding her.
Our day care providers have been very supportive, but not pushy, they let us know they are here if we need them, and have told us that we are in their prayers. She pulled me aside one day and told me she feels my wife is fighting a spiritual battle and has surrounded herself with the wrong people and distanced herself from the right ones. She is not aware of DBing or MLC, but does see the problems in a way.
She asked my wife the other day if she would be interested in having a Bible study with me there as well. My wife said "Yes I would be, but right now "Trapt" is not really speaking with me." She then informed me of this and I was a bit shocked. When we first started having trouble my wife's sister asked us to attend church several times and my wife would always refuse. I later asked her why she didn't want to and she said "they just make you feel guilty." Now she seems a bit intrested.
Things have been a bit odd lately. My wife and I seem to be cycling back and forth more frequently, its been hot and cold. I will accept most of the blame for this due to lack of patience.
I have seen many changes in her. It's been very slow, she seems to be a lot more comfortable when she comes around.(She used to be very flighty) She makes conversation and has a lot of eye contact. She acts more relaxed and the only time she has any anger or frustration now, is if she is pressured.(she used to be angry all the time).
I have no idea what to do with this, on one hand yes, it would be helpful IF my wife was doing this for the right reasons and not just trying to keep me as the safety net. I'll never know for sure. A part of me wants to do this, but I'm very cautious and don't want to pressure her. She has Agreed. I said I would get back with them on this. Again I have NO EXPECTATIONS.
Does anyone have any advice on this. I don't know what to do. Part of me says yes, another part of me says stay dark.
