I stuck to the "she deserved to know what was going on in her marriage" when my W was screaming at me for telling OMW. It's funny, W then said at one point "don't you think it was up to OM to tell his W"? And I replied "it's been going on for 9 months, when was he planning on telling her he's been cheating on her with yet another woman?" I just got the blank stare with that one.
Just remain calm. Because the perfect storm is a brewin!
H4U Thanks my friend. I am sure I will get it all. OM is apparently full of lies / non-truths. I am getting good at calm.
Originally Posted By: Puppy Dog Tails
"I think it was up to any responsible adult who knew to tell the poor woman. Frankly, I didn't see any, so I did."
Oooo PDT, I like that, but not sure I could keep a straight face with that one!
Originally Posted By: Puppy Dog Tails
LIS, what does your gut -- and the intel you've already gathered -- tell you about what this guy (OM) is likely to do? Is he willing to lose his wife over this, or do you think he'll try to dump YOUR wife?
Puppy
As mentioned, OMW knows from past that OM will not D her. BUT she may D him at this point. Doesn't really matter. Truth needed to be there.
Originally Posted By: carpenter54
PDT You forgot another option.....which I lived thru
He LIES to both of them!!
Tells his W it's over or it's all a lie Tells Mrs LIS he will dump his wife when.....fill in the blank.
Has been going on already, or my W has been in la la land so long that she believes everything he says, most of which is cr@p.
Originally Posted By: carpenter54
Lemme guess... You had no rite telling her.... Stay outta my life..... I love him he loves me.... Etc ..etc
54, got most of these already, including "you f'd up their M now. Now you are no better than me..." OMW really laughed at that line!
Originally Posted By: Sugar and Spice
(((Lost))) but you seem to forget that now that you and OMW have spoken, the ship has sailed on him lying to them both. She will now be able to VERIFY his lies through you. Its going to be D-Day for OM and your W.
Stay strong because she is gonna blow. I like what 54 and PDT advised on how to handle the chitstorm. Keep cool and tell her that it was only fair that all involved need to have all of the facts.
(((S&S))) thanks sweet one. I agree, it needed to be done. This really wasn't about her. It was about the "right thing". I have been tying to do the right thing these days.
OMW has my cell phone #. I expect a few text messages in the next while.
Originally Posted By: Puppy Dog Tails
You forgot the NUMBER ONE answer:
"I HOPE YOU KNOW THAT YOU'VE NOW BLOWN ANY CHANCE YOU HAD WITH ME!!!"
BINGO!!!!!!!!!!! Been there, done that. Add to the end "we are so done"...
Originally Posted By: Hope4us
Oh Puppy, that one was the best. "I was going to give you a chance, but, oh boy, not now." I guess if I wouldn't have said anything and let her continue to leave every other weekend to spend it with OM she would have given me a chance.
If it wasn't so tragic, it would almost be funny.....
That's all we can do H4U.
Originally Posted By: Sugar and Spice
Doesn't that just seem like a really scary episode of the Family Feud? Richard Dawson would have handled it beautifully though.
This may be the initial storm, but I wonder what the story will be once OM makes his move? Now that OMW knows whats up, we'll see how he handles having to answer to her about whats been going on.
I'll be thinking about you...hugs in advance friend.
ROFLMAO
SURVEY SAYS...
Have sent OMW a copy of the latest letter (10 days ago) that was left for W at the hotel. OMW verified that it was OM handwriting.
Enjoying the quiet right now...
LIS
M45 WW 43 D17/S14/D11
ILYB Jan 08 PA Conf Feb 08 OMW / OM contacted S Jan / 09
No one ever has, or ever will, escape the consequences of their actions.
Have sent OMW a copy of the latest letter (10 days ago) that was left for W at the hotel. OMW verified that it was OM handwriting.
Enjoying the quiet right now...
Enjoy it while it lasts. I predict all hell is going to break loose when OM gets home from out of town. Be prepared for W to go all kinds of apechit about it.
Take it easy... Oh and I'm drinkin' whatever you've got plenty of.
Last edited by Sugar and Spice; 11/08/0808:55 AM.
M:39 H:39 K:S14;D8 T:22yr M:15yrs S:12/28/07 EA/PA 3/14/08 OW preg 11/17/08 born 12/12/08 his ~~~~~~~ Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option
Have sent OMW a copy of the latest letter (10 days ago) that was left for W at the hotel. OMW verified that it was OM handwriting.
Enjoying the quiet right now...
Enjoy it while it lasts. I predict all hell is going to break loose when OM gets home from out of town. Be prepared for W to go all kinds of apechit about it.
Take it easy... Oh and I'm drinkin' whatever you've got plenty of.
(((S&S))) Well, won't say the choice of beverage is endless, but... can whip up a few concoctions. I can send it to you when I am in Arizona next week!
I leave for a little vacation with S13 on Thursday and I wouldn't be surprised if it was fire and brimstone until then. BUT W has to be careful because now it will be harder spin thia one around here... especially if/when omw calls her to chatwith her, or me for that matter. May need to call for reinforcements so have the SB cape ready. Be interesting to see what this does to her house hunting (she has started to look at houses for sale, although not sure how she plans to pay for it...).
S&S, after talking to omw, given her state of mind we could have SB2. She wasn't teary, weepy, etc, just out for blood.
LIS
M45 WW 43 D17/S14/D11
ILYB Jan 08 PA Conf Feb 08 OMW / OM contacted S Jan / 09
No one ever has, or ever will, escape the consequences of their actions.
:D. A few weeks back, S&S and I coined a new dynamic duo. She said she could be a Super Beotch if she needed to be, so we became SB and Teflon Man. We thought abought spandex suits, but scrapped that idea.
LIS
M45 WW 43 D17/S14/D11
ILYB Jan 08 PA Conf Feb 08 OMW / OM contacted S Jan / 09
No one ever has, or ever will, escape the consequences of their actions.
You're going to have some interesting days coming up. I think you are doing the right thing. Do any of your friends or family know of your wife's affair? If so, does she know that they know?
Friends - yes. BUT she has been telling them it ended a few months ago. I have told a couple about the recently found letter. They are pi$$ed because she lied to their face about this when asked directly.
Family - apparently she told them. I have not. I will be speaking to MIL / FIL in the near furture. I am doubtful they know the whole truth... who knows.
LIS
M45 WW 43 D17/S14/D11
ILYB Jan 08 PA Conf Feb 08 OMW / OM contacted S Jan / 09
No one ever has, or ever will, escape the consequences of their actions.
My mom and sister know. Dad passed away in Aug 07 - and interestingly that was the catalyst for me realizing I didn't like the person I had become (didn't even cry at the time)and was making changes to me. And then this all hit... Sorry, off track there a bit.
LIS
M45 WW 43 D17/S14/D11
ILYB Jan 08 PA Conf Feb 08 OMW / OM contacted S Jan / 09
No one ever has, or ever will, escape the consequences of their actions.
That's all we can do H4U. 
Be interesting to see what this does to her house hunting (she has started to look at houses for sale, although not sure how she plans to pay for it...). 
