I phoned the ex-wife of my wife's (ex-)OM today. We were family friends, about as close as two families could be. I haven't spoken to her in a while.
I spoke to her husband once, since the bomb 28 months ago. (Can it really have been that long?) Anyway he called me about 18 months ago and said "I thought you'd want to yell at me." I said, no, but I want to remind you that there are 5 other people involved in this situation besides you (me and my 4 kids). It was a stupid conversation. He told me how much he loved my wife. I told him I had nothing more to say, hung up. I wanted to throw up. I wanted to bathe. It was disgusting.
Anyway I spoke to his ex-wife today. She is finding her way as a single working mom. Doing well. She's bright, pretty, smart. Lots of support from friends and family. It's not easy, but she is on her own now, full custody of her 3 kids. Nice. And she says her ex is just a mess. Every time she sees him, he is drunk. Looks unwell. His own kids shun him. He drops in every couple weeks. The kids are young, all under 9 yrs old. A shame.
You think this man is happy, you think he is drinking himself into a stupor because he is proud of what he did?
No, it doesn't matter what they say. It isn't easy on them.