I think I'm done......saddened, but strong.....

[Silent Chrleader]

Thank you, Snodderly and YR, for your good advice. To update, my H called tonight and S17 answered the phone and they apparently talked. S17 said H appologized for putting him in that position and when S17 tried to apologize for "telling", H wouldn't let him and just told him the fault was his for putting him in that position and H is going to do "everything in his power to fix this" because he doesn't want to loose S17. S17 said he even seemed to be crying in the end and had to hang up. I am telling myself not to take that as a good sign that he is finally actually feeling some remorse for his actions. It doesn't mean a thing.

I should note that OW no longer works for H. She got another job that doesn't have the long commute last month, at H's insistence. H also contends it was "only the one time" and they "knew right away it was a mistake". Like that makes it better.

I also did one other thing tonight. I drove over to the OW's house. She wasn't home, but I went because I sort of wanted to "face my demon" and thus hopefully take away it's power. I had a short speech planned. I wasn't going to yell, or cuss, or anything like that. I was going to be a lady and basically tell her that though she had hurt me, and her actions showed no honor or integrity, I wasn't broken and the upshot was going to be that I would forgive her in time because I sincerely wanted to. [It should be noted that H and OW and I commuted together to work in the city for 2 years and in that time I had tried to be her friend and had helped her and encouraged her in her troubles with her marriage.] H definitely would not want me to do this, but I sort of feel like it would be a good thing for my self respect. But then she wasn't at home, so I took that as a sign that maybe I wasn't supposed to take that step.

Any advice on that one?