For the Guy with Kids and a WW Diciotto

[hopeful4her]

Thank you to everyone.

I have not left. I am at home right now. I could not get off of work today. The wife called me later in the morning to let me know her little sister was on the way and that SHE was going to make plans for a room. She ALSO works for the Marriott. I told her that I was still trying to make arrangements at the time. She calls a little later to tell me where the hotel is and to just go.

"We're going to stay at the Courtyard, so just call me when you and the kids get here." Almost like, we were going to stay in a room together, as a family, but I did want to even try to read what she meant. Could have been anything.

A later convo, I told her that S14 had a lot of tests coming up next week and he didn't want to miss school. Worse case, I will come up this weekend, bring him back on Sunday and maybe go back.

The more I thought about it, I would have served no real purpose being there. The wife sounded okay, although still upset. Another conversation, and we started to discuss if I should bring the kids at all. Maybe just for the funeral next week. Another conversation, she is searching for the courthouse to verify if there are, in fact, divorce papers. I tell her that I got some info on the funeral home and I give it to her. She still hadn't heard anything from FIL's wife.

The money thing is going to get bad. Apperantly, my wife IS getting involved now. I know that FIL's siblings are pushing it. A lot of things are starting to come out.

I was trying to decide what the best thing for me to do was. I don't want to take my girls into a drama situation. I WANT to be there in Laredo, but I have to worry about my girls. What is in their best interest. After work, I pick my D7. D11 was picked up by my sister and spent the day with her at her work. Today was an early release day for both of the girls. D7 and I go pick up some clothes because they had decided the other day that they wanted to spend the night at grandma's. At my mothers, the girls eat supper.

Then I sit them both down to give them the news. Not much emotion from either of them. I think I was more nervous to be telling them. I think that D11 did her thing last night with me, so it was not as much of a shock. We had spoken last night. I tell them that I'm trying to figure out what I should do. If I go to the funeral, I will have to take them and they may miss school on Monday and Tuesday. D11 says she doesn't want to miss school.

That pretty much answered my question of what I'll do. I decide that, if the rosary is on Sunday, I'll go alone to Laredo for the day and then come back that night. My priority is my kids. It shouldn't be my wife. She decided prior to this, what her priority was. And it wasn't me. She'll be on her own a little longer.

At moms, as I'm trying to leave, the girls now don't want me to leave. D11 ends up okay, but D7 is blocking the door, telling me not to leave, that I'm NOT leaving. Starting to cry a little. I know she is tired. I tell her I'm coming back tomorrow. Back and forth. Back and forth.

So I end up bringing D7 back home with me. D11 stays with grandma. She's ok.

D7 falls asleep on the way home and I carry her to bed. The wife called me about 45 minutes after I got back home. About 9:45. We end up talking for almost another 45 minutes. She fell asleep at the hotel, and her sister had just woken her up about an hour previous. They are going out to have some tacos. I ask how she is doing and she says, "I think it's just starting to hit me."

We talk about the hotel, they had to change. She had gotten two rooms. Her and her sister are in one and the uncle from San Antonio is taking the other. She says she can only pay for maybe one night, so she'll make a decision tomorrow. She may bunk up with the uncle. I remind her about fave aunt offering her house. She says she may take her up. She tells me that her little sister is leaving tomorrow, "...so I'll be by myself tomorrow."

She goes into all the drama that is unfolding. One of her uncles referred her to an attorney. She says that there WAS divorce papers. I ask if her mother ever signed them and she says no. It was done with out her. I think that can happen in Texas. But there are no annullment papers. I tell her that it sounds like she is getting into it deep. She says that the siblings let her know that her father told them that my wife "would be taken care of" in the case of his death. His wife is trying to secure all assets.

I mean, it is getting deep.

We talk about the kids. She agrees that maybe I shouldn't bring them amongst all the drama anyway. I agreed. She says the rosary WILL be on Sunday and the burial will take place on Monday. I tell her that I may just come up on Sunday and then just stay for the day. She says to let her know when I get there. We talk some more about what is unfolding there, and she tells me her phone is dying. The restaurant is loud, so hard to hear her anyway. She says she'll call me back tomorrow. She said something that I couldn't understand, but I was so tired of asking her to repeat herself, I just let it go. I tell her to be careful out there. You never know what money does to people. We ARE talking about Laredo. I tell her to have a goodnight. She tells me the same back.

"Bye"
"Bye"

I may end up going down there tomorrow. Come back on Sunday night for the kids.

THEY are my priority now.

My emotions are working overtime. The part that wants to be there for her. The husband in me. The other side that tells me to let her deal with her crap herself. Thoughts of showing up and her falling into my arms in grief. Being her knight. The other part of showing up, sitting in the back, nearly unnoticed.

I'm tired. Again.