Not the easy way out

[Dash]

Last night I noticed H carrying his cell phone around. Super huge "mind play" on me. I kept thinking about it. I remember doing that. Made me start thinking about other things that H has been doing and questioning them.

Hi Didi,

I did this right after I found out about my WAW's EA. I held the phone all night and kept flipping it open and closing it. I'd punch a few buttons then close it back. I was trying to replace the picture of my W on my phone. Due to my emotional state I couldn't do it that night, but I have managed to do it since.

My W asked me who I was sending TM's to. I told her I wasn't sending TM's to anyone. Then I asked her why should it bother her if I was. She answered, "It just would."

I didn't ask her why it would.

She also wanted to know with whom I had been chatting. Again, it was no one. I fired off a rapid succession of emails to my oldest son from my first marriage, but I didn't even have a chat client installed on my computer. My W knew this but said she thought I might have installed one that day. Again I asked why it should bother her or be any of her business, she just stared at me for a moment then walked away.

I believe it would have helped alleviate some of her guilt (if she had felt any) had I also been guilty of something at the time. Since then, I believe she's given up any guilt and has managed to place all the blame for our failed marriage squarely on my shoulders.

These are the things the cheaters deal with eventually.....realizing that it could be done to us now.

I know that's something I feared for over a year, and finally she got more than even, she got ahead. I'm not saying your H will do this, but like you, I never imagined my W would either.

Dash