Glad you made it to this side of the fence. Stay here and you'll find lots of support from many that have moved on, healed, and just are here to offer real good dam advice. I'm sorry about your D, and it's sad to hear about those kids.
My take is this: Since you are still thinking about your XW, I would not get into a new R right now. It's obvious as the air you're breathing that you need time to heal from this breakup. And having kids in the mix just makes it harder to cope with, doesn't it? You also don't want to cause any hurt to this new woman, however great she might seem.
Point is, and this is as plainly as I can put it:
* You need TIME - more TIME - to keep healing. * If you like this new woman, remain friends and GET TO KNOW HER. This also takes time. * You're in a transition right now, so falling for a woman at this stage will backfire and you're feelings/thoughts for your WX will only get in the way. (You need to be emotionally available to a new gal).
Now, the GOOD thing I see is that this new woman said that she is understanding of your current emotional/mental state about your X, so again the logical thing to do is remain friends and not get romantically involved at this time. If you guys can develop a solid friendship over time, and you can heal over time, then that's the best scenario. Move SLOW, especially when you feel you are ready to date, and you'll have a much healthier relationship.
I have told myself to not get serious with anyone, and I have some potential suitors of my own - one from my town that I really, really like but am too much of a chicken to ask her out (for the rest of you it's not out-of-state STD woman! - I'm convinced she's got a van-load of baggage!), but I do talk with the gal from my town and keep things short and sweet. I'll ask her out later if I feel the vibes are there but only when I know I am "ready" to truly date her.
Just take things nice and easy. You'll do fine.
~Sol
~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Single Dad, and luvin it! ~ Happiness is a state of mind ~
