Stepping a toe into the light

[AliSuddenly]

I disagree...that email was the exact same one (not as much detail, not quite as full on) as she told me to send. I did follow her advice and it 'worked' in that he wrote back and apologised.. but do you know what? I regret it. It didnt change anything, he isnt back/wasnt likely to come back and also, I never got to say anything at all to him from my heart, and that was 10 years of my life down the drain.

I think Jody does give amazing advice and she is right.. but its just TOO much (and its also too late already Julia). She is American though and I feel us British arent quite so in-your-face honest/straighforward as Americans. I know she has helped and you do need to send him something like it, but IMO, it needs toning down (especially the bit about hte men)..what on earth is he going to think??

I made mine as brief as I could and was in line with her advice, but I didnt pretend or embellish. I wondered, just how honest is your email to him there?

For example.. "If I am honest with myself I am beginning to really enjoy the male attention that has been coming my way lately so I understand the attraction of a new relationship." REALLY???? Is that why you paid her alot of money for her advice?? If this isnt true, I would leave it out.

I didnt 'react' at all, which is wierd, odd. I find out he is dating someone and had lied to me all year and I send him an email saying "I'm not surprised and we have been apart some time afterall" - thats insane! I do regret it Julia. As long as you dont react or freak out or get emotional, fair enough, I agree that wouldnt be helpful. BUT.. she's right, he has gone, he is living with a new gf and this is your chance to say something.

Is this really what you want to say? DO you really think it will work and he will have 2nd thoughts? He already told you he is planning to live there (with her) for 10 months at least, maybe longer.

Yes reduce the emotion/shame/guilt, email him in a way that makes it safe for him to contact you and let him know that you know, but if I were you.. I would not send this email in its present form. Be true to yourself.

Al x