Dear Kerry...I just want to let you know that I finished your first thread today and I'm trying to cruise through. I am so sorry for the pain that you endured but I am SURE that you made the right decision here.

Your W, like mine, seems to have lost something along their path in life. The value of family, integrity and simply trying....seems to have eluded them. I know that these words come long after your bomb came....but...I still admire your attempts, tho' futile, to save your M.

If I come to have learned anything here, it's that..frequently..the changes that occur in our spouses emanate from their own ego. They come from a combination of ills suffered in their upbringing to family environment to their own personal insecurities. Sometimes, it just "is what it is".

I think the key here..is to not spend a lot of time in the victimization and self-blame game. Seems like you dodged that bullet very well.

I noted that you were in the Coast Guard. Thank you for your service. Also, I spent 3 months in Anchorage under the Public Health Service in '84 taking care of Eskimos and Indians. Remind me to tell you the story of the Aleut "Jane" I met at the Paimuit Club in the Sheraton Hotel in Anchorage.

Wuk-ah my friend. Stay strong and thank you for continuing to help me thru my own pain.

FIB

Me 55; XW 47; 2 kids (S13, D11)
Bomb 05/19/06 Original thread http://tinyurl.com/yg2ou2t
Last anniversary 04/25/10, Divorced 5/12/10
Status: Loving father of 2 beautiful children;