I bet most of the people on this board could have written most of what you have.
I too have a S that was best pals with my H when he went through this. After a while it did stop becausemy S was so angry at what my H was doing. I don't know how many times my S told my H off. I had to let them handle it themselves. My S distanced himself from his dad.
Take what they say with a grain of salt. Half the time they don't remember what they say anyway! As for as the A. It will dwindle eventually, but it usually takes some time.
I too went to a lawyer. I wanted to know what my options were. She looked at me and said you don't want a D do you? She said that it sounded like my H was going through MLC. She sent me out of her office.
There were many, many times I thought I was done too. Then I would see little changes in my H that told me just to hang on a little longer. I prayed like never before. One good thing that came out of this I became closer to God.
I went to C too. My C is the one that really helped me to cope with all of this. She helped me with boundries and helped me to realise it wasn't my fault.
Be good to yourself. Take care of you and your kids. Work on you and keep working on you. I tell you I learned alot about myself when I went through this and my H loves the new changes in me!!!!
