Faith I love you! thanks for the encouragement. Your right we have time till the holidays and need to hold it together. This fog is deep and he is totally addicted right now to the OW but I still have faith that he will tire of her and realize what he is losing.
Me 53 H 50 D16, D29 M 22 years bomb 7/08 INH - alien pod replaces H 8/08 - OW (direct report), I work there also bomb II - H moves 10/1 expose ow 10/22 D to be final 9-09
hope how do you do it with your H working with her? my H also works with ow. I HATE it! H has to report to her also. sad that I sit here with the power to work expose, yet H would lose his job.
huge 180 and GAL here, wasnt here when H called for break. went driving in the country, radio blaring. he called again a bit ago, needed car info, said call him back, nope I emailed him with only the info he wanted. no words no nothing! yee haw me!
Last edited by Babygirl; 11/07/0809:03 PM.
M 36 XH 34 3 children If a house is divided against itself, that house will not be able to stand. Mark 3:25 "your mood swings are giving me whiplash" twilight ALIVE FREE AND HAPPY 2010
Hi BabyGirl, It is difficult as you can see. It drives me crazy sometimes. Like you if they are exposed at work -- BOTH will be fired and then I cannot afford my house. good job with GAL and 180. Keep it up.
Me 53 H 50 D16, D29 M 22 years bomb 7/08 INH - alien pod replaces H 8/08 - OW (direct report), I work there also bomb II - H moves 10/1 expose ow 10/22 D to be final 9-09
Well there you are Ms. Hope, I was wondering where you were. Ya know my H gets texts and calls and I don't even act like I notice that he gets them. It's best to NOT talk about R but its also best to NOT talk about OW. Talking about them gives them 1st position, so don't give that to them. I think up to a point you did very well so no worries, ya already know where you might have been able to do different. I pretty much never mention our R or OW. I'll let OW do that and start to unravel and become the one who presses him so he can decide I don't need this crap.
Hope your goal next week, is I want you to find ways to laugh around H, or even enjoy a laugh with him. The bible says "a merry heart doeth good like a medicine" (Proverbs 17:22). This can be good for both of you. Can you do that?
Ok you know that H and I are associate Pastors and through this whole thing I have never talked church to him or invited him. Its not the time he's not there yet and it would have only pushed him further. Now recently he has asked me somethings about certain ministers but he did that on his own. Be sensitive to the timing of what and when to say things. So in my opinion I wouldn't tell him to go to church it may push him away from church further and they don't want to feel like your fixing them, make sense? The OW take them just as they are, don't worry they are accepting scraps that doesn't mean it will be that ways should they decide to come home.
So have you Irish danced yet??? details details!!!! LOL
yes faith in the book there is a section where it lists them all and then you can put them in order.
Me-38 H-38 Married 18years Daughter-17 & Son-9 Discovery of EA/PA 4/23/08 Left home 5/08/08 Moved in with OW 08/01/08
The only rock I know that stays steady, the only institution I know that works is the family. -- Lee Iacocca
Faith - You are doing awesome! I also did not engage when my H asked me just yesterday to come by and pickup a folding table he needed to do an open house. I told him that tonight wouldn't work because I had plans. I told him today would work or his mom could drop it off to him. He said ok and left it at that.
Hope - I was LMAO on OW running from you! That was hilarious. It put a smile on your face and I bet you felt pretty good about yourself didnt you??
TxMom - I agree....my MIL actually lived with us and she saw everything happening first hand and did nothing either. She absolutely hates confrontations. I confronted her and told her how that made me feel and her response was what was she suppose to do she is not one to get involved and that I could not expect her to yell at him or "slap" him or something. I just made it clear to her that if my daughter was doing what he was doing you bet I would sit her down and talk to her letting her know the ramifications of her actions.
As for exposing the A, the company did not know about the first only a select few in the office but for the second A everyone knows even the owner and they did nothing either. So that goes to show the integrity of that company to openly accept something like this. I would have gotten nowhere going to them and exposing it. His family (cousins, brother, and friends) know about it but the only cousin he is close to has done the same thing so not really any pressure being applied there. He doesn't talk to his brother. His friends have turned there back to him. They all know me and have stood by my side through this. His friends wives do not want him coming around their husbands.
GALing for me includes taking a dance class. Two girls from work have agreed to join me so its a matter of calling the school that I found online and doing it!
I have the quinceniera tomorrow and dinner with my parents on Sunday. Tonight I will be doing dinner & a movie with my daughter.
TTYL
Me35/H35 D16/SS14 M-1yr/known H 18yrs 1st Bomb: 4/26 OW35 2nd Bomb: 8/17 OW21 Moved out 8/21/08 H filed D on 9/9/08
God determines who walks into your life...it's up to you to decide who you let walk away, who you let stay, and who you refuse to let go.
Ok, so based on the quiz, my H's top 5 in order are: conversation, admiration, domestic support, sexual fulfillment, and family commitment.
I think he rushes to help around the house b/c he's not there and he sees me do a lot extra.
But, he mentions being able to open up, be understood, feel comfortable - all under the conversation heading.
Also, several months ago, he mentioned me never appreciating him, so admiration. But, I do believe his LL is Acts of Service - so he likes thanks through actions.
Lots to think about! Thanks, T2L
Me:33, H:34 T10, M8 S4,S3,S9m ILYBINILWY 11/07 Separation 1 2/08-8/08 Back Home 8/08-10/08 Separation 2 10/08- Too many bombs to count:(
Hi T2L, thanks as always. I am getting better but only in baby steps. I wish I had your strength but I know that it took you a while to get there. Plus I have to work with both of them and that alone sometimes takes my breathe away. That is why I go to the gym 5x a week at lunch. So I don't have to run into them if they are sneaking out for lunch. I can forget for an hour. As for church I only meant that D15 can see him and that he is making an effort. I gave up for now trying to save his soul. I guess this means your H is not going to church since his A started.
I do have to find a way to laugh with H. I don't even know what to say to him anymore. I am going to e-mail him next time about the financial support (same as you used for your H) to thank him. I know he will like that.
Tonight for GAL, I am meeting some woman and going to dinner and to a play in the next town. I only know 2 of the woman but it is a night out and I need it. I still have not contacted the woman about Irish dancing. My only concern is that sometimes I think they are trying to fix me up with one partner and I don't want to be put into a position I don't want. They are all single people.
take care my friends. And I do count all of you as good ones these days.
Me 53 H 50 D16, D29 M 22 years bomb 7/08 INH - alien pod replaces H 8/08 - OW (direct report), I work there also bomb II - H moves 10/1 expose ow 10/22 D to be final 9-09
BTW....T2L your advice is absolutely fantastic! It has made me think as well....thank all of you for taking time to post your situations and giving advice to one another..it has helped me so much!!!
Oh and im in AZ so CA is only 5 hours away depending where you are T2L so I would love to come over!!!!
Me35/H35 D16/SS14 M-1yr/known H 18yrs 1st Bomb: 4/26 OW35 2nd Bomb: 8/17 OW21 Moved out 8/21/08 H filed D on 9/9/08
God determines who walks into your life...it's up to you to decide who you let walk away, who you let stay, and who you refuse to let go.
