So I had previously sent her the email correspondence with h and she said it was great DBing and he responded in friendly, helpful and responsive way. Then I told her that h had moved in with this woman but I didn't know in what context and she said that I should take it that the worst has happened. This is what my gut tells me anyway. She said don't ask them what you already know and don't be coy; go with the assumption that I know the truth. She asked what the ow was like and I said I couldn't see any similarities apart from that we vaguely looked like each other. I read her some of her FB posts and Jody asked me if h had ever expressed a wish to start a family with me and I answered yes and she said is that the kind of person he would want to have children with? She sounds like high maintenance and ok/ fun to be with once in a while but living with her would get very tiring. She said she is a slutty version of me! (love it! ) She also said that his tone in his emails to me is not that of his FB life or ow's tone and that I am bringing out the best in him.
She also loved the fact that he had moved in with this woman and that they were living just as far out of London as I do now. She said this is my opportunity to move further in and start living the fun, cosmopolitan life that he longed for when he left me. A much more attractive prospect. He can find out how great it is to be me!
She also thought that he should meet with the estate agent and that he should make some effort for once. He should find out for himself the house situation, he should find out the bad news! If it comes through me then there is potential that he will blame me somehow and it shows detachment to not need to meet with him. She also said next time he says 'you look n...' I should answer with 'Hot?' and that I need to be a little bit more confident in myself around him.
So, here's my email...
Hey,
I met with (my chairman) and your email really helped me and I got a lot of strength from your advice, thank you for all your help.
I got your recent email and I understand that you have moved into the flat and you are not there by yourself. That explains a lot about what has been going on between you and I since you moved out, and while I recognise that it is not the reason we are not together I can see that your efforts have been directed in another place.
However, I do realise it has been a year since you left so it is not surprising that you are moving forward with your life and it gives me a lot to think about. If I am honest with myself I am beginning to really enjoy the male attention that has been coming my way lately so I understand the attraction of a new relationship.
All that being said I understand there is a lot of stuff we need to do with the house. With regards to your offer of seeing estate agents, I am more than happy for you to go ahead and do that.
I am hoping that this clears the air between the two of us so that we can be more straight forward and comfortable with each other and that this doesn't mean that we can't see each other on occasion in a friendly context.
I am not sure how to sign off? Hope you are ok/ hope you are having a good week or just 'Julia'. I'm hoping that this sounds like my style? For my English DBing buddies - do any phrases in it sound too American?
This encapsulates my feelings that I wanted to get across and Jody felt it would make him feel less ashamed when he is around me now everything is out in the open (I'm not sure on this one) and that it takes the deceit out of the situation. It also answers how I would react if he told me.
Any thoughts you guys have would be really appreciated!
) She also said that his tone in his emails to me is not that of his FB life or ow's tone and that I am bringing out the best in him. 
and that I need to be a little bit more confident in myself around him. 
