I hope so. I'm talking to my coach tomorrow morning and will report on that as well. I just need to get her to lower her guard so that she will allow me to touch her heart like I should have been doing all along. Progress is progress and I'm happy with that at this point. At this point I need to earn her trust and her love and I am willing to go as long as it takes. She is worth every mile I have to go.
You're 100% correct. So what would your opinion be on how I should handle this? How can I make sure that I pay attention to her needs without stepping back too far? I need to be able to show her that I'm there for her and that I want to be her friend and help her when she needs help? I guess I'll have to ask all this to my coach tomorrow morning as well to see what he says.
Well, I got home and she is being a raging B to me. She moved the computer up to her craft room and she is now going to be sleeping in there as well. She also took her ring off as well. No idea what the hell is going on. I can't tell how she is going to be one day to the next. She has so many emotions going on right now it's insane.
After the kids were in bed, I seen her at the end of the hall and I said "..and I hope you have a good night." in a very nice tone.
She said "Ok." and then a moment later said "Thanks."
She knows she is being mean to me and all I've done is be nice to her. I'm sure that is making her more irritated.
So as of right now, things just don't look good. But who knows.. Maybe she'll figure out that this isn't what she wants. Now that she is out of my computer room I can breath a bit and it will be a lot easier for me to be here without flipping out.
I guess my wife called my Mom this morning and told her that I wasn't invited over her Moms house for Thanksgiving. She said that my Mom should come to our house and spend the night and that she would cook dinner for us and then go over to her Moms house later and that she would spend the night with the girls over there.
I said goodmorning to her Mom this morning on the train platform and she ignored me. heh. Good to see that she's being immature about it. I have done nothing bad to her daughter. We both have made mistakes and I don't call my wifes names, I don't do bad things to her stuff, I don't do any of that. I'm being very nice and I'm being very kind throughout all this thing.
I talked to my coach and he said that I'm doing a really good job so far and that I need to keep up the good work. He said that even though she has taken her ring off, she is still emotional so that tells him that it's not done yet.
Last night when I got home things were mellow. She was down with the kids watching TV. She stayed down and we all watched TV together for a bit and then she went upstairs to her craft room. She doesn't say much to me these days. I tell her goodnight and she says it back, when I say goodmorning she says a quick "hi".
I'm hoping that the time she has in her craft room these days will help her reflect on what is going on and what she is leaving behind. She has a good life her and I think she just needs to make some adjustments to it and things could work out perfectly. Only time will tell.
I went upstairs to talk to my wife and told her that I'm planning a family event tomorrow. She asked what we were going to do and I said we were going to go do mini golf or something depending on the weather. She said she didn't think she wanted to go and made a comment about going to her Moms house or something.
Owell, thats fine, we'll go mini golfing and have a great time together without her.
I went to my Psycologist today and he said I'm doing a great job on everything and the advice I'm getting from my marriage coach sounds really good. So that makes me feel really good about what I'm doing and will really fuel me going forward. :-)
A while back I made a list of 50 things that make my wife happy. Today I completed the list. It is something that I would like to share with her but at this point it would be considered chasing. I wish I knew of a way to show it to her without having her think that I was trying to get her to see it. I thought about printing it out and leaving it on my desk and if she comes in to leave me mail on my desk she might see it. Not sure about that one though. Any other ideas?
Is there any way you can do those things for her without showing her the list? Surely, some of those 50 plus things on your list to make her happy you can turn into actions. It is always better to do the action instead of reading them to her or letting her read the list. Talk is cheap, but action is a lot more valuable.
She may wish to see it, rather than read it. Start out with the simplest and work up. Remember action is always better than saying or reading it.
This is 2 cents. Others here may have other ideas.
