Reading this post brought back many of the memories I had during my period of grief, separation, and just hurtful feelings - but they were all without emotion now, only remembrance. (The pain is still there for me, but diminished). HB, this will all come to pass, you WILL feel different, as I have. You WILL be OK, as I am now. All of us LBS's are on this journey of recovery to the utmost degree. Divorce hurts no matter how amicable - a R is over. But you WILL move on, little by little, and I think you are doing an awesome job. I can sense a lot of PMA in your writing, but I also sense the pain. You are realizing that this R is no more, it has changed, and you're the one that will "make out" in the end. We have to feel sorry for our WAS's making the mistakes they are making, and later they will see what damage they have done - or just live in denial. But it was they that didn't want the R no more.
I am reminded of all the DBing we are taught to do, but it is mainly for us the LBS's, and that right there is a comforting thought. I was hurt and thought I could no longer go on, not find anyone, felt unworthy, but here I am ready to take on 5 dates a week if I had the time to do it!
Funny thing about A's - they are an escape and a cop-out I think! It also shows a lack of real commitment to the M on the part of the WAS and is used to avoid resolving the issues of the R. I'm not going to get too deep into A's, but they hurt others.
You're doing good BH.
~Sol
~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Single Dad, and luvin it! ~ Happiness is a state of mind ~
