Me 55; XW 47; 2 kids (S13, D11) Bomb 05/19/06 Original thread http://tinyurl.com/yg2ou2t Last anniversary 04/25/10, Divorced 5/12/10 Status: Loving father of 2 beautiful children;
Last night was W's night with the girls at the house. I happened to be around for a few minutes when she was sitting at the table making a photo montage of her Grandmother who died so she could bring it to the funeral Sunday.
So, she was looking through old family photos and showed me one of her dancing with her Dad at his wedding, which I also went to. She said that D17 looked a lot like her at that age. Of course I said 'yeah, but you were hot then!'
No response.
This morning she was here for the girls morning routine. She was sitting with D13 and found a picture of she and I riding in one of those spinning caged ferris wheel type carnival rides and showed it to D13.
A little later when she was about to leave, she picked up my coffee cup on the counter and drank from it. I looked at her and said "Is that coffee good?" and she said "Yes, it is". And I said "That's my coffee". She got embarrassed and said "Well I guess it's got my cooties on it now".
W called me a little while ago to talk about house / kid related things. During the conversation she said that 'things would be different if I hadn't forced her out of the house'.
I said 'I asked you to leave because you were having an Affair'
She says 'Yeah, I know it's because I was having an affair'
Me 55; XW 47; 2 kids (S13, D11) Bomb 05/19/06 Original thread http://tinyurl.com/yg2ou2t Last anniversary 04/25/10, Divorced 5/12/10 Status: Loving father of 2 beautiful children;
'Yeah, I know it's because I was having an affair'
How the hell do you think that admission comes about?
You think little miss "I have to be true to myself" choked those words out just to appease you?
For what?
It's conviction. Do you know that conviction is the state of being convinced? She knows. Something has caused her to be able to admit to herself, and now to you, that she had an affair and that's why you asked her to leave.
It's a process dude, and all I'm telling you is that this is proof for your logical mind that she is IN one.
You think little miss "I have to be true to myself" choked those words out just to appease you?
For what?
It's conviction. Do you know that conviction is the state of being convinced? She knows. Something has caused her to be able to admit to herself, and now to you, that she had an affair and that's why you asked her to leave.
It's a process dude, and all I'm telling you is that this is proof for your logical mind that she is IN one.
It does not change your path one iota.
Just keep your eyes open.
That's all I'm saying.
Listen and watch.
Ok, I thought you meant she was 'convicted' of having an affair.
Truthfully, I was surprised she called it an 'affair'. And it's still going on.
Also, God sent a messenger today. Got a call from a band booster friend of W who was looking for her. She needed to borrow a band t shirt. I told her to come over and I would give her mine. I've met her before, and she knows me as a nice, decent guy. she's my age, not W's.
We were talking at the door and she was asking questions about W, and I came out and told her that W wasn't living here any more. She said she knew W was wanting a divorce and had told her some months ago she was looking for a place.
I told her that I asked her to leave and why. I also told her my role in the mess of our life and that this is the third time she's done this.
I said to her that I don't want anyone to think badly of her, that I wasn't doing well and was lost in depression and alcohol.
She told me she was divorced, and that she knows how a lot of women just can't deal with problems in a relationship, especially when depression and substances enter them. I said 'yeah, I know that now. W never fought for me she just let me flounder.' She said 'My husband never fought for me either, but what I came to see was that my life was about my kids, not him. Not what he was doing, not what he was saying. It's about giving my kids a safe and stable life. So you need to focus on that too. Your happiness doesn't depend on another person'
I needed that message today. Something told me to tell her the situation. So she could tell me I'll be all right and so will my kids.
