Oh yeah I remember, Hmmm.

Do you know his needs yet(I know I know not again-in the SAA book?)

It would really help to know his needs so you are able to meet them even when dealing with these sticky issues. Like this lemme show you what I mean.

I am a stay at home wife and mom, have been so our entire marriage so I rely fully on im as we were married right out of high school. I do not know how much he makes and know he is keeping some for him self I dont know how much.

So I know his needs and I try this experiment 2 weeks ago. My h has a huge need for admiration. so I send him this email saying how much I appreciate and respect him for putting in money every week and keeping his word and thanking him for showing his love this way. Ok ya ready for this....the very next payday which was just a few days later he put his whole check in and called me and said I put the whole check in and I need to borrow 12$. It was then that I realized the power of emotional needs. A human will do almost anything to meet an emotional need. So i dealt with a sticky situation by meeting a need....its brilliant.

I guess that's why I recommend the SAA book so much. ITs a solid focused proven plan-yes its 50/50 but thats no different that the odds now.

I'm glad he is agreeing and its good that you are not trusting him(NO EXPECTATIONS). This keeps you protected.


Me-38 H-38
Married 18years
Daughter-17 & Son-9
Discovery of EA/PA 4/23/08
Left home 5/08/08
Moved in with OW 08/01/08

The only rock I know that stays steady, the only institution I know that works is the family.
-- Lee Iacocca