Trying2live-Post #4

[Trying2live]

TwinHope,
A bit of fog lifted and it does at times. This is good. maybe the love nest isn't so lovely. It's one thing to have an affair but its a whole other when you gotta wake up to that person every morning. But remember have NO EXPECTATIONS right now even with the fog lifted cuz it comes back down quickly. Expect this kind of behavior but what he is saying really a good sign. I'm not sure how much of the 3rd thread you got to read but it's worth going through.


Some of what we said was how the R as we knew it is gone. It must completely start over. 1st thing is reduce negative emotions by very little contact and when you do see them be cheerful as possible if the situation allows. Then really you have to start the R almost at being friends again.

First I wanna say I think it's perfectly fine to address him about the OW and parenting your children. Make sure when you do this you do not commit Love Busters(have you gotten the SAA book yet? It explains Love busters).

Ok this is my recommendation, and I think you need to kinda move quick on this because he is starting to waffle.

OK if you haven't please go get the SAA immediately, go to the back of the book take the test in your H's place and find out what his top 5 emotional needs are. be as honest as you can so you can accurately pinpoint it. Once you read it think about if the Plan A and Plan B are for you.

And this is super important too what were your H's complaints, start 180'ing them ASAP, as he is waffling.

This is what I did. Cut off almost all contact the 1st 5 months. Had to he was crazy and If i argued with a crazy man guess what that makes me LOL. Then read SAA in September Implemented Plan A October 3rd, H is responding ridiculously well(but I still Have NO EXPECTATIONS) I have shown him 180's also in these areas. H complained that I didn't listen to him so I am quieter and listen more intently when he is speaking, I didn't initiate sex (never denied it either) so I began perusing him until he caved 3 weeks ago and now I am the OW(this stuff is for movies man LOLOLOL) he as cheated on her 5 times(with me whoohoo), and I also gave H a lap dance which I learned from a e-course, and he loved it and thanked me for it and said i did a good job. Those are my 180's.

I love that your H is waffling but I think you need to get a really good plan in effect. It really sounds like he would do well in SAA since he is already missing you and I do believe that he is (NO EXPECTATIONS) sorry I hate to keep saying that but it has saved me from being an emotional wreck.

What do you think Twin?