Trying2live-Post #4

[Trying2live]

Goo morning!

I know I go to sleep really late about 1 and I'm up by about 7. I'm one of those weird people who don't require much sleep. LOL And I am fortunate enough to have been a stay at home wife and mom our whole marriage so thats why too.

After you all read the Harley's book, you may Love must be Tough by James Dobson but read SAA 1st. I read DB, Love must be tough and SAA.

Upon discovery I told my family, his family, church friends and Pastor and some girls in the office at his job since the OW had worked there up until 2 months before discovery.

I had to get to the place where I had No fear. The bible says God give us peace, love, and a sound mind and also The LORD is with me; I will not be afraid. What can man do to me? (Psalm 118:6)

I did not want my decision to expose to be based on fear to but to be based on faith. H mother and 1 brother did not support me and I don't bloody care(sorry) but guess what 2 brothers have and I have spent much time with them and the families. I wrote my mother in law a letter and said unless she apologizes to me and my children I will never speak to her again and she knows its true. This is a standard. It's ok to have one too. I wrote her a letter and spoke the truth in love.

Dr. Dobson says that these betrayers will re-write the marital history to justify there actions. Mine did and I lost a friend because of it, but I do no care, that's one less real friend and I'm not here to start a fan club LOL. So it doesn't really matter what they tell everyone they all do the same thing and say the same thing, they re-write the marital history and say i haven't been happy for a long time blah blah blah. But guess what inside they know they are lying to themselves even when we say nothing. And mine said it to those friends too, but guess who's around alot and sleeping with his wife again? And If(and i have NO EXPECTATIONS) he does some day come home guess who's gonna be eating those words.

I think at times I am a hardliner and it may not work for every one, I know that the Harley's have researched and proven out many of the theories in the book. He has spent many many years doing this. He has a doctorate in what he does, so I trust his experience and knowledge. He also explains the addiction side of this mess too. He used to work or own half way recovery homes and when he went into marital counseling he found out he could not treat the betraying spouse any different from the addictions. This is what your up against. Infidelity is a beast that must be slain. Dr. Dobson says that over his many years of experience that he has seen appeasement of the infidelity actually seals the fate of the marriage for the worse.

As you guys know I am an associate Pastor. I pray hard and strong for my marriage. I wish you all could come here to my house to see how I pray against things and for my H. But remember Faith is action. All through the bible we see that God is a God of action. I think it the situation we all unfortunately stand in there must be a clear path and course. I don't know the we can get the desired results with out it. Even in DR/DB she recommend getting to the last resort, which I did the 1st 5 months.

When H told me he left that night April 23rd, I exposed, he came home 3 days later, guess what he told me? he said it's like your in this fog and you think this fantasy can work and then you realize that it can't. Yup folks he said that to me before I had read any of those books. Of course he left 2 weeks later May 8th experiencing what Dr. Harley explains as withdrawal symptoms. Either way I recommend the book as it explains a lot of the entire adultery issue and even if you do not implement the plan.

Ok so nuff said LOL. So ladies how is your GAL'ing going? Are we still doing that? And how is our 180 going as well.
I will be taking another salsa class on Tuesday of next week. Will be going to Plan B per SAA on Novemeber 22nd a week before Thanksgiving. I am trying to envision myself enjoying the holidays and having as much fun as possible as my kids deserve a happy mom. I don anticipate a few hard days in Plan B but I am going to make it and so are all of you. Ok I need to go for a walk I haven't walked in 2 weeks. I do exercise with cables and a jump rope at home but I think I'll go back to the gym as soon as I hit Plan B. Gotta fill up the time!!!

XOXO Have a great day you guys! I'll be on later TGIF....