Good advive GFI. If I were in a better position emotionally that would be a plan to consider. But little or no contact with Ex is my only comfort zone right now. I fear if I meet with her I would lose it, especially where the kids are concerned.
I really wanted to email her back but I am happy to say I did not. I wanted to ask her how her comments hurt me. Is she implying that D7 loves mom and misses her more than dad? If that is the case it shows you how spaced out she is. Or is she just trying to make me the cause of D7 crying? That is hard to get straight in my mind: lets see, she wanted the D, she ignored me when I said it would impact the kids, she bailed rather than work on the M or go to MC with me. She pressed and got the D and now it is somehow all my fault the kids are affected????
In her mind the D was the answer - everyone should be so happy now. Right?
Thanks too FIB. I warned you to expect the kids being drawn to the middle in your situation. However, in mine, after 2-1/2 years I expected to turn a corner; instead it is worse.
Quote:
knew a divorced mom who smothered the kids, and just before they had to 'go see dad' she would program them to be afraid of being away from HER.
Frank hit it on the head. That is what is happening. However, I don't think Ex has a clue she is doing that. She smothers the kids b/c that is her only emotional support left, except for a few female friends.
I may not have been her idea of a good H but I was there for her many times.
So was her dad. But her dad quickly remarried after her mom passed on and that was a blow for sure. She has only been back home to visit once that I know of since the remarriage. Before the remarriage she went home almost every weekend the kids were with me.
Kids are not designed to provide adult support to adults. I wish Ex would understand that. In a way I feel sorry for Ex, but I am more concerned that this does not impact the kids long term.
But all I can do is to be a good dad and not use my kids as my emotional crutch as well.
