Well the lonelies are hitting me again. I am keeping busier than usual, but I keep thinking about her. Since I have packed her clothes away and taken down the pictures, I miss her more. The only reminders of her are me. It is killing me! I feel like I can't go on much longer without calling her and asking her WTF! I have not seen her or heard anything since her voice message on my phone Saturday night. Before that it was the Sunday when she was over getting ready to go to her friends with my D. I didn't see her really, just said hi when she said hi. I am thinking about her more and more...
I have reread the books and I am doing my dark and continue my 180s. I know I need to give my packing her clothes and taking down pictures time to settle on her, but she is still with OM so I don't believe emotionally she is as bothered as i would like to believe.
She visited friends of ours last night and is going over there for dinner sunday, probably after being with OM. She has indicated to them she is very happy and most likely is going to file for divorce after the holidays. She didn't come out ad say it, but those were the impressions she left. She's is definitely spreading out and getting bored I think. She knows these friends that she went and saw, he is my best friend. She is like my sister. She is also a good friend of W. I feel like at every turn she is doing something that gets back into my life. I am more angry and hurt lately with every passing day. I am the type of person who when they get mad, show anger. If she sees me and I am angry towards her it will hurt my chances greatly I think. I can't believe this is happening to me, that my life is so screwed up because of all of this. I am starting to think that this is it, she will not "wake up" or come out of the fog or leave the tunnel, this is who she is goping to be. That thought makes me very upset.
