Wow, I don't even know what to say about the FIL marrying again while still being married......yes, wow is all I can come up with.
Of course you are the one she wants to talk to about her family. You know her like no one else does, you understand her like no one else, and you know her family like no one else. You are also her rock. She needs to never lose you.
Well the bigamy actually can be useful versus the new wife. It revokes her marriage. Anything signed while in the hospital can be fought in court and most likely nullified. It sounds like she was trying to get him to sign over life insurance or other assets over to her when as his wife without a will she would have gotten it automatically. Wow this is turning into a mess but this new wife is acting selfishlessly.
Guys, it all seems so preposterous. As far as what MIL says, I don't trust her any further than I could throw her. And I could probably throw her pretty far.
My daily drama continued.
Here are some of the things that came at me today.
First of all, I got a call from S14 around 11am. He sprained his ankle during pe playing basketball. Wanted to see if I could bring him some Ibuprofen, because he didn't want to leave school. D11 called me later letting me know that I HAD to pick up the orders of cookie dough before 6 tonight. Ya'll know the convo's I had with the wife.
She called me again just before I left work. She wanted me to check the county court website for a divorce decree involving her mom or dad. She knows I know where to look because I told her once when I told her about OM being married still. No divorce papers.
Anyway, she asks me to look and the only thing I can find is a name change for MIL. Changing her name back to her maiden name back in '87. I remind the wife that it could have been in the Webb county info for Laredo, where they used to live before she moved to San Antonio. We talk a little more, she asks me to make a copy of the name change doc and save it for her. She tells me she'll call me later. After work, go pick up D7 and then head to the apartment to pick up the older kids.
At the apartment, D11 is outside in the courtyard with other kids and that one blonde neighbor that I met at D7's b'day. As I walk up, I tell D11, "Hey baby." The neighbor says "Are you talking to me or the dog." "You, baby" and she starts to crack up. She waves me over to talk. We chit chat a little and then D11 runs over and upstairs to the FIRST neighbor that I met when the wife first moved in. As me and the blonde neighbor are talking, D11 comes down with that other neighbor. That neighbor walks up to me and says, "I need to talk to you about something." She walks right past me and goes and walks right into the wife's apartment. I follow and trying to figure out what the hell is going on.
"Amanda wanted me to let you know something because she just couldn't tell you herself. She started her period."
OMG!
I tell her I've been expecting it and try to tell her that she needs to carry some pads with her, but she always ignored me. Didn't want to hear it. The lady talks to me and says she knows that the wife is out of town. She is giving me advice on what to get D11. After we talk for a while, I gather up the kids. Leaving, I go tell the blonde neighbor goodbye and she gives me some tips too. Then she yells out to D11, "DO NOT WEAR WHITE!"
All righty then. I head to the Dollar Store and load up on night time pads for sleeping and daytime pads. She is embarrassed, but I make her go into the store to get them with me. It was too funny. We had a good time. I tried to call the wife, but no answer. We get home, and I start dinner late. Pork chops and mashed potato's. The wife NEVER made pork chops because she doesn't eat 'em, but WE do.
We finish up and I start dishes and the kids are watching a movie. The wife calls me and asks how the kids are. I tell her we just finished dinner. She asks what I made and I tell her. She says, "Wow!" like she is surprised. She says she had to leave her phone charging outside because it died on her. Then she discovered that it won't charge unless the car is on. I tell her what happened with D11 and she is sad that she couldn't be here. She starts to tell me what to do and I let her know that I've already gotten advice from ALL her neighbors. I let her talk to D11. They talk for quite a while. Then D11 comes to give the phone to D7. I notice that D11 is very sad and about to cry. I sit her down with me on the sofa and ask her why she is sad.
I guess the wife told her some more about FIL and D11 was having a hard time with it. I comfort her and we talk for a while about death and about Heaven. D7 finishes and brings me the phone. "What?" I ask. "Here. It's mom." "She wants to talk to me?"
I get on the phone and she starts to let me know that her dad may not make it through the night. They had to change his respirator to a different one. Still not a ventilator, but this respirator is doing a lot of the work. She says she was able to obtain his SSN and got a social worker involved with him. That he was able to have alone time with each of his brothers and sisters. I ask if she did too, and she said she did. I let her know that I was sorry that this was going on. She says that he will be in a better place. I agree with her and give her some uplifting words. She is starting to cry and thanks me for calling her when I did. I just stay quiet. She says that she is going to have to leave the key turned on in the car to charge her phone for a little bit. She will call me if something happens, even if she uses someone elses phone. I let her know to call me at what ever time.
So...I've had another day full.
I'm expecting to get a call in the middle of the night, but I hope not.
Am I starting to miss the lonely days that I'm here at home alone? I think I got 40 new grey hairs today.
And I had a busy as hell day today at work. A really, really productive day. I think I could use a spiked Diet Coke right now.
Anyone care to join me?
Me 47, WW 38 SS18, D15, D10
Good Bye Girl. No longer SAYING she's moving out. GBG moved out 8-1-08
"I have now decided to enjoy life instead of figure it out."
I'd love to; I think everyone around here has had a tough week. I thought my week was bad until I came on today....
I know you should eventually go dark, agree with Kat, about that. Make her miss you and good for you too.
But I think that's great you're being very supportive of your W with your FIL. I know when my dad died, my H was just a boyfriend at the time, and H wasn't there for me at that time. That hurt me and I never completely forgot that I don't think; probably should have seen that as a red flag at that point. I think it's really important to be there for each other in such a really difficult time.... Karen
OMG as the kids say these days....I remember the whole 'mortified to tell dad i started my period' thang!! Its just uncomfy! But I am so glad you "Daddied" up and you guys got supplies together. Sigh, big girl, huh????
You are great for being there for your W in her sadness about her father. I am sure you'll be called when something happens.
Its odd that you mentioned that because just today I was thinking how odd it will be for me to lose my mom, or xH to lose his parents, and we are divorced. Just seems....weird....not planned, that's for sure.
Take care! You rocked the world today as a dad, husband, neighbor (lol), consumer, chef, employee and counselor!!
H4H sorry to hear about FIL and the drama that comes with it.
You are a good Daddy for being there for DD in her time of need. That must have been a tough one for you too.
Take care of those sweet girls. (((hugs))))
M:39 H:39 K:S14;D8 T:22yr M:15yrs S:12/28/07 EA/PA 3/14/08 OW preg 11/17/08 born 12/12/08 his ~~~~~~~ Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option
You wife learned something today....when the sh@# hits the fan and the family is in crisis....you are the one she can depend on. Not some guy that visits only for one thing!!!
Well, I missed a call from the wife this morning at about 7:30. She called using the uncles phone. Vm says that FIL passed away at 7:22 this morning. She called me eight minutes after.
I called her back and I just tell her how sorry I am. She starts crying and tells me how she was with him all night. At about 6:30, he squeezed her hand and started nodding his head. He later started going into cardiac arrest and they tried CPR. She told me yesterday that he signed papers to only try CPR. Nothing else if that didn't work.
It didn't work.
She is crying. I'm crying with her and I keep letting her know how sorry I am. She tells me how his wife hasn't cried and is being very unemotional. I tell her that I'll make arrangements to get down there as soon as I can. She asks if I can arrange for a hotel because she hasn't left the hospital since Wed. I tell her I'll let her know what I arrange later. She tells me thank you.
I called fave aunt in Laredo. She says that FIL's wife called her yesterday asking her to come by the hospital, but didn't let her know how serious it was. The lady was complaining about my wife and how SHE was acting. We talked for a while and came to the conclusion that it was the lady acting weird. I let her know that I might be coming in today. She says that I'm welcome. I ask her for a favor and ask about my wife. She says that of course she is welcome. These are family times.
So...I need to make arrangements. The wife wanted me to call her mother and let her know. Her cell is not working and I left a message at her home to call me.
I talked to my mom. She thinks that I should not take my girls. I know that S14 has Benchmark tests all next week. I told him that I could take him this weekend and bring him back on Sunday and then head back. I have to figure things out. Funeral may not be until Tuesday, so I can't leave my girls here. They're going to have to go with me, I think. Unless mom takes days off next week.
Thanks for being there guys. I'll keep in touch.
Me 47, WW 38 SS18, D15, D10
Good Bye Girl. No longer SAYING she's moving out. GBG moved out 8-1-08
"I have now decided to enjoy life instead of figure it out."
