My Crazy mess, these are the days of my life!

[christarn]

H called tonight...he was upset (understatement) he has to take mandatory week off to avoid lay off...then he got a 500$ bill from L in the mail...needless to say, somehow it was all my fault. I was headed for a breakdown as he told me he was done with C, done with us and going back to the L to say he wanted D. I finally said, I need to go to the bathroom we will have to talk more later. I needed time to process everything. I needed time to gather myself and regain composure before saying anymore. I told him he was being selfish and hard headed. I apologized for my wrong doings in the M, but he never did. I did not want to push any more than had...so i knew the best thing i could do was to stop. yes, FG, you taught me something...i even used your famous line!!! LOL!!!!

So after a cooling down period, I text messaged him to ask if C had been a joke all along to prevent him from having to pay me the money i had invested in our home. He said he preferred to talk not text. So I called, we had a very civil conversation, unlike the one before. I asked about C being a joke and he said no, he had good intentions, I said it didn't feel that way. He said he was just overstressed, he is barely keeping his head above water and having a hard time. I empathized and validated his feelings. After a few minutes I asked why he was not wanting to do C any longer he said he didn't feel like it was moving along, i said it was hard for it to move along when he wasn't following her advice, such as dating and talking more frequently. I suggested the idea of the comedy club and our friends joining, he became more quiet. I talked and talked, I asked him a few times if he needed me to let him go, because he really wasn't saying much, and he would just become silent, and ask another question. He talked about the separtation, and why I left. I try to explain as best as I can. I know he will never understand. I just try my best to explain and how I have grown since I have been on my own. After about 20 minutes, I told him I needed to go, had to get back to writing a paper. I said I would chat with him soon, and I would be at the C session next Thurs. and hope to see him there. he said ok! and chat soon....this was a much better conversation than the previous one. I was much happier with how things were left vs. the previous conversation.

I think/feel he was simply overstressed finding out he had to take a one week unpaid vacation and receiving a 500$ atty. bill in the mail. He has said several times how this is making him feel overwhelmed and stressed out. I think it is all truly getting to him and he has no true outlet.

just wanted to update!

Christa