I apologize to all that read my post about a month or so ago, I was so desperate for answers, I wanted a quick fix, I didn t take the time to properly introduce myself and my situation.
Im 46 W 45 married 21 yrs two children 18 and 13 .
Nine yrs ago I felt that my wife was distancing herself from me and our home: I started having the feeling that something was wrong but could not put my finger on it. I knew something was wrong because there was no intimacy, and we constantly fought about everything and any thing. I started having an affair with a couple of woman to sooth the pain, I felt that since she was not there for me I would go somewhere else. We started drifting apart even more, she and I would go out more frequently with out each other, than about nine months into my affairs, I felt that I wanted to get back with her, to my surprise she was not receptive, I question this and started snooping around looking for clues, after a month or so I found out that she was having an affair all along with her boss, after denying it she came clean and said that she wanted a divorce since she was no longer in love with me, well I went on a tail spin, I started drinking,presc-meds, and trying to do anything in my power to win her back, I called the boyfriend, call anyone in her family that would listen,made her feel afraid to the point where she got a restraining order on me. I felt that this was the end of my life, then I fount Divorce busting website and all of Michelles books. For the next six months I move in with my mother and took care of all my wifes finances at home. I decided that now was the time to go to work in saving my marriage. I dedicate myself to win her back by immersing myself in therapy, anti-depressant meds and tranforming myself using the Divorce Busting methods. It took about two yrs from the time I started to the point where she started talking about canceling the divorce procedures, to make a long story short, it worked, I could not be any happier, I was able to make this work thanks to my hard work, all the great friends I made on this site from all over the US and some from as far as Australia,and to the all those telephone consults from Michelles office, I felt I had to get all the help to save my marriage and it worked.
Its seven yrs later, Im getting restless again, the W is not appealing, the sex is almost non-existence, the fighting is constant, so I decide the best remedy is look for ways to end my marriage. I meet a woman that I felt walked out of a playboy magazine into my lap, I figure this is what I was looking for, I go crazy, my W noticing this change is now chasing me, I feel its too late, I have found my dream woman and Im gone. One yr later I find that playboy bunny is not the beauty inside that I saw on the outside, the only great thing we have in common is sex nothing else, I now decided that I no longer want this woman, I want my wife back: GUESS WHAT? My wife is now twenty pounds lighter looking like a million dollars, dating, and looking like she’s having a ball , the more I see her the more I want her back. I feel like the BIGGEST LOOSER in the world, I worked so hard to get my wife back, I just turned around and gave her away, to make things worse she served me with divorce papers 3 weeks ago.
I dont know how to come back here and ask for help, I feel ashamed, and scared at the same time, I think this time I have lost her for good.
