Is she is or is she ain't (my baby)?

[forward]

Sleeper, You have made some strides. I find it interesting that she allows you into her home so easily, even while she is showering.

I wish I had the same progress, sigh.

[TRUSTING]

Wonderful progress.

What you are doing is working.

[sleeper]

More (really weird) stuff.

X went to her women's Bible study group last night. I kept kids so she could go. When I took them to her she told me, "God has been speaking to me lately. He always has but he's really been speaking to me lately." She went on to tell me she is just now realizing what God's love is, wants our kids to know that love. I didn't know quite what to say so I didn't say much, just told her I was happy to keep kids so she could go and would every week.

Tonight X called and asked me to join her and kids at a resturant for supper. I turned her down, said I had already eaten and would take a rain check. She seemed surprised and tried to talk me into it but I stood my ground. She called again a few minutes later and we chit-chatted (politics, the economy, our children) for a while.

The phone went dead while I was talking and trying to make a joke. Either I p*ssed her off or her battery died.

I think it was the latter.

[forward]

Sleeper, your wife is coming to.

[sleeper]

A bunch more happened today. Dare I say it was all MAJOR? Oops I said it.

I went by X 's work after I got off today. Wasn't quite sure why and even questioned myself as I drove there. When I walked in the door X said, "OMG, you must have esp." I bit my tongue (thanks Dave) rather than reply, "Why yes WE do. Have you still not noticed after two years of continued extra sensory connection even though we have been separated and divorced?!?!" She continued that she was just about to call me. She is still sick and asked if I would keep my phone on and pick up kids for her if she couldn't get off work in time. While there we discussed several behaviors the kids have had lately that are reminescent of when they were babies. I agreed to keep my phone on and left.

Later I called her at the appointed time and she told me she was able to get off and wouldn't need my help. She called a few minutes later and asked what I was doing. She then engaged in small talk (economy, politics, the usual and current). She mentioned several times she is worried because she is still sick.

She called a little while later and asked if I would meet her and kids at a store. It was very close to where I live so I agreed.

While there she had me listen to her chest TWICE. That's right, me slightly bent over with my head in the middle of her now surgically enhanced boobs and the middle of the store. She mentioned how it was calming her down that I was with her. ("Madam, it may be calming you down but it's definately raising my interest" Groucho Marx ) At one point I gave her a hug which she accepted.

We did a little Christmas shopping and talked about our kids a great deal while there. She asked what my plans for the holidays were as I have the kids both of those weeks. I described some tennative plans and asked if she had any plans (last year she went on a trip w/OM). She responded she had no plans.

She asked me twice to go to dinner with her and the kids but I declined by saying I'm watching my weight. (I don't want to appear too egar or available) I finally convinced her to go home, take a hot bath, eat something there and crawl into bed with our kids and watch a movie. I told her she needed to rest and that would be more restful than going out to eat. She agreed with my suggestion.

I walked her and kids to the car after she made her purchases. I then went back into the store at her request and made a purchase for DD that X requested without DD's knowledge.

I think I should call her before retiring and check on her.

[C_K]

Sleeper

How about an update , I hope all is well .

Dave

[sleeper]

All's well that ends well. And I'm starting to think this may end well. Am I bi-polar?

Mon and Tue nights I saw X at because of kids. OM was at her place when I went by Mon night. I stayed a little longer than usual because X and I needed to talk about kids and I fixed a couple of things at the house.

She called me Wed because she was worried about the economy.

She called me Thurs night but we didn't see each other face to face.

So today I went by X's work after I got off work, took her a soda. I saw OM's car parked there but went in anyway. OM looked irritated when I walked in, shuffled his feet a little. X seemed surprise and a little embarassed to see me in front of OM. Maybe I am becoming the OM. I gave her the soda I brought for her (OM brought her nothing). She then asked where the kids were as I often bring them by to see her. I didn't have them as I wasn't supposed to pick them up today. I refrained from saying, "I don't have them, just came by to see you." I left quickly because of the percieved discomfort. They both pulled out their cellphones and began to fiddle with them.

X called me a little while later as she was leaving work to talk. She said she wanted to thank me for bringing her a soda. I can't help but wonder if she was uncomfortable talking to me in front of OM. That's the second time I've gotten that impression and i see it as a good thing. For the 2nd time this week she mentioned she wasn't sure what she would do for Thanksgiving. I have the kids all next week as last year she had the kids and OM celebrated Thanksgiving with her. I can't help but wonder if she is hinting at something and the next time (if) she mentions this I'm going to ask if she wants to have Thanksgiving dinner with just me and the kids.

That would be a really good excuse for me to clean my apartment.

[sleeper]

Today wasn't so good but I think it's just me.

I went to X's to pick up the kids for the day. OM's dog wasn't there but that doesn't really mean much. The kids tell me OM is going to travel to see his family for Thanksgiving. That may explain why X has asked about Thanksgiving. Last year OM was with X and our kids for Thanksgiving.

X called this afternoon and thanked me for help with the kids. That is one changes I've noticed. She seems very appreciative for the help I give and thanks me much more than she did a year ago. Another change is she is more chit-chatty when we talk.

I felt a little used today (my problem). I actually told X I'm not a babysitter as she gave me instructions this AM about the kids.

I mentioned I liked the shoes she was wearing as she had a pair like them years ago. I continued to tell her I think she might have had said shoes on when our first child was concieved. I didn't get much of a response so I added that it apparently made more of an impression on me than on her. Sometimes you hit the mark and sometimes you fall short.

I definately hit the mark ten years (to the month) ago.

I need to go dim and not be so available.

[sleeper]

X just called. She asked if I would go pick up kids for her because because she feels sick. She continued to tell me she may have eaten too much chocolate.

I told her in that case to pick up the kids herself. I did add that if it had been from eating a chocolate shake from Chili's (one of her cravings with our first child) I would go.

The high point of my day.

HoooRaaah! (in a very low tone reminescent of the United States Marine Corps.)

Apparently she was OK with it as she called me back a few minutes later to finish the convo.

I'm going to the bookstore tonight to see if they have "How to be an @sshole for Dummies."

I'm not refering to where the ventriliquist's hand goes.

[sleeper]

Two years post-bomb #1.

Holidays still suck.

Sometimes I wonder what I'm waiting for and how long this will go on even though I do see progress in X.

How do the rest of you cope?