God grant me the patience and the strength...8

[theotherhalf]

Thanks WCW,

cow tipping would be a blast but remember I'm chicken "sh*t".
Ya, I was really stunned when he put it out there. So to me that was the best gift he could have given me. Really "the thought that counts". It was a great evening for me anyway.

This last week has been wonderful. But all good things come to an end right? H has been here everyday since I don't know when. Monday night he stayed.

Tuesday I took 1/2 day from work, came home and hauled 4 loads of corn to town. I'd only driven the truck 4 times from farm to farm just recently. Never on the highway nor loaded. But you only live once right? And sitting here all of these years thinking that one day I will do it, or wishing that I could, didn't get me anywhere. So even if it's just this one year. Now I can say I did. We worked in the field till night. H stayed here, in my bed. Just slept...

Yesterday I came home early and helped them till it rained. H and I fixed fence and let cows out to corn fields. H stayed again, in my bed...

Today, I get home, he's gone. He's gone to his home. Harvest is just about over. He has no exuse to stay here anymore. With my probation he can't have alcohol here anymore so he won't want to just "hang out" here anymore. So I probably won't see much of him now.

And it hurts. Even though I've been telling myself that this was all temporary. To be prepared for it all to end. It still hurts. Tonight I feel like I fell off of that cloud 9 I've been flying on. And the bottom hurts like hell...