Happy Days

[Cinderellaman]

thanks guys...

thanks for dropping by, yes I'm still finding ways to detach..

[MidwesternGirl]

Hi, Cinders...........sending you hugs and warm wishes.

[whitelight]

Cinders,

I am praying for your husband to see the light.

[Cinderellaman]

OK............

So today we had parent teacher meetings for the girls. D7 all was fine and perfect, she is well ahead of her class and has many friends and is happy. All fine there.

D9 has been struggling. I have been dealing with her and her troubles with homework for 2 months now. H was never involved, I have had contact with school etc.
Today H sat there as if he was a knight in shining armour who came along and was going to solve all the problems overnight. He asked the teacher to give him a list of what D9 is struggling with and he would work on it with her this weekend to make sure she understands it. Well, I sat there flabbergasted. I felt so trampled over...as if I was just not doing enough, and not good enough to help her out. URGH !

When we got home (H came along) he told D9 that from now on she was to do her homework in her room and that I would be checking it as soon as she finished it. He went ahead and sent her upstairs, telling her he'd be up in half an hour to check on her. Then he told me how I was to go about it from now on. I was just AMAZED that he had the cheek to tell me how I should be running things. He sat here ALL afternoon, kept going up and down to work with D9. I went about my own business making dinner and with D7 and S5. For dinner a friend of mine came over with her 2 sons, her husband was going to the same event as H, so she was going to be home alone and we decided to have dinner together. By this time H was still at my house so I asked him if he wanted some dinner, he did and had some chicken..only chicken.
My friend who has been a great support to me through all of this, was flabbergasted about all of this too. She even asked H if he didn't have to go to the event her H went to, H said he was going there later. Anyway, at about 8.30 H left, in the middle of putting the kids to bed...kids ran downstairs to wave goodbye..then he said to me "You know you have ALL the lights on, that's quite a waste". I told him I had switched off all lights in the living room and that usually I turn much more off, but now that he was there I hadn't (I can't believe I defended myself about the lights - urgh! It's not like I can live in the dark right?!)

I don't know what happened today...I don't know why he stayed all afternoon and 'helped' out. I just have NO clue about anything. WHat I DO know is that I felt like standing up for myself MUCH more than usual ! I kept thinking to myself 'when is this man leaving and can I get on with things?' Weird...does this mean I have moved on ?

[naej]

Hi Cinders, yes I think this is moving on, at least for today,tomorrow might be a different feeling!
I guess you had to bite your tongue a few times at H's arrogance.I am guessing he always had that streak but it got overlooked because he was handsome and charming.
The moving on starts a step at a time caused by just such happenings, then we do a few steps back as we see the man we loved peek out the odd time, but those times get fewer and the steps ahead get more frequent.

I think you are on the right path at least. Take care.

[MissH]

I kept thinking to myself 'when is this man leaving and can I get on with things?'

I think this all the time. When the bomb first happened I used to love when he stayed. Now I hate when he comes in the house and I feel like I can't get him out fast enough!

Cinders, your H is just feeling guilty that he is not there everyday. So he tries to act like he is still mighty important and he still has the say on how the kids and everything else is done. My ex acts the same way. It's a control issue.

[job]

Cinders,
You are moving on at a nice pace. I have to agree with naej...your h's arrogance is simply astounding. I can't believe he's still attempting to tell you how to work w/your children when it comes to their homework and then the lights! Why should he care about the lights?

I do think that once we've reached that point of moving along, the rose colored glasses that we have worn throughout the marriage and the crisis slowly slip off our noses and we start to see the flaws that they had all along. Others saw them long before we did, but kept quiet. I would venture to bet that you will notice more of those flaws in the coming months.

You are coming along nicely and I've very proud of you and your children. Don't let him get you down with his advice. He really does need to practice what he preaches and look in the mirror more closely for he will see he's not perfect either.

[Cinderellaman]

Naej and Snodderly,

You are both right ....I'm letting go, slow and steady. Yes, my H has a certain arrogance, always has had it...my rose colored glasses really did blurr up some of the things in our relationship. Oh well, I guess in time we all learn...

Been really tired lately, running everywhere to do everything for others except myself... this Sunday is for ME !

I hope you are all well, MrsH - thanks so much for dropping by, and yes we both seem to share that feeling huh !?!

Bless you all !

[Truelove]

Hi Cinders,
Just wanted to say hi and wish you a nice week-end.

Can't the MLCwers be annoying when they come home and try to boss you around!!! - Take care. (((HUGS)))

[Cinderellaman]

Well....

Tonight one of my best friends told me she had seen my H and his ow at the movies a few weeks ago, she said, it had shattered her. She said she understood, how I could not compete, how unfair it was, and how silly it looked for such a young girl (ow) to be with H. She told me H was acting all young and crazy.. as far as I know, H can now be HIMSELF with ow...so how come he's not like that when he's here, cause when he's here he seems to just feel at 'home'. No acting weird, or overly excited, just him, tired, groutchy, dominant, caring, concerned, well, most of the things I still remember from being with him for over 17 years.
Now apparently that is not him anymore. My friend said, she just couldn't imagine anything more than the money attracting ow to H. I still think she's young, naive and in love...one day she may wake up.

Oh well, it was hard to hear.

Take care, love xxx