Faith, I was waiting till T2L opened up the new thread, but it is good you opened one up.
What has happened to your H is that the fog has lifted - even for a tiny while. He got hit with a "truth dart". They are so focused on themselves they do not see the damage that is inflicted on their own family. I think it is a great that H got a self realization.
Like your initial thoughts about contacting her but you know that H does not want to be exposed to his own student that he is an idiot. I would wait till he comes over and see how it plays out. You can state truths but without putting blame, such as I know her pain and shock when that happens, then put the conversation on the state of mind of his student. See how he expresses it. You can agree just don't turn it over to your own R. good luck.
Me 53 H 50 D16, D29 M 22 years bomb 7/08 INH - alien pod replaces H 8/08 - OW (direct report), I work there also bomb II - H moves 10/1 expose ow 10/22 D to be final 9-09
