Dianes Roller Coaster Ride continued... lol

[Jayce]

Hi, how's the weather? Last day of "Indian Summer" here-that's when we get sunny, warm days after the first frost. Got almost all my yard work done. Ran outta gas. LOL. Actually, have stomach ache. Wonder what I ate

H doesn't remember anything about his bro's messing w/him. He does recall the Thanksgiving fight that led to his folks splitting up. Former sis in law told me the parents separated & got back together more than once. Also, they both were unfaithful. But who really knows? Chaotic childood either way.

His home town was small other than summer tourists, so people knew relatives of others, were all connected in past genenrations. Cousins' father (H's mom's sister's H) told them that his father said their gramma shot grampa to death around 1920. Speculation is that since it wasn't uncommon for H's to smack their wives around, for her to do that, he must have been "messing with the girls" meaning my H's mom & 2 sisters. H's younger bro did some social work way back. He asked her about it...she was 6 & didn't see the shot, but saw the reflection of the muzzle flash on the wall, so she was in the room at the time!! He asked her if her father molested her & she got mad, said, "My father LOVED me!" and clammed up. He said that's what molested kids say. Older bro had passed by then, so no idea what he knew.

Its probably why when she'd call one of the family toddlers over to her & they didn't come, she'd say, "Gramma won't love you if you don't come over here" in a singsong voice. She tried to play my H & his bro off against each other when she was thinking about where to live after her 2nd H died. She'd tell my H how his bro was begging her to come to where he lived & yadda, yadda, yadda. She'd tell his bro that my H was saying the same things. They'd talk & share how she complained the whole time she visited both of them & joke about "better you than me." A few yrs ago her younger sis did the same exact thing with her 2 sons! They didn't learn that stuff from gramma, she wasn't manipulating & everyone loved her a lot. Best guess, that's another tactic they learned as tiny kids from their bad daddy!

Probably a lot of her behavior/personality was affected by what he dad did to her & sisters. I suppose that guaranteed a dysfunctional childhood for her boys. I mostly hear the older aunts, 2nd cousins, etc at funerals reminiscing about how H & bro stayed w/them while their mom worked. They spent most of their time at gramma's. When H's older bro moved here w/wife & baby, H was 15 & she sent him here for the summer, then tried to get them to keep him! Fear of abandonment & rejection? Jeez!

None of this really explains his LD, however. Especially since both bro's were/are the opposite. It probably does have to do w/his not talking about feelings much. I've shared stories about my folks' families (one great grandpa hanged himself-legend was he died of pneumonia-until cousin got his death cert during her geneaology search) and what I remember of my grandparents, etc. He just doesn't do that. I know he never went to amusement parks, circuses, museums. Didn't get to learn how to have fun.

The Mon. appt will include a different mask to try. He mentioned being hungry all the time. Tired people eat more. Like runners who overtrain craving sugar & other carbs. He'll be totally wiped this weekend. Working till 5 tom'w a.m. & 7 a.m. on Sat. He'll get at most, 6 hrs sleep between shifts. He'll sleep most of Saturday. On the upside, I'll get to sleep both nites w/out snoring waking me up LOL.

He's read thru pg 80 of the book. Long time till he finishes it. Eventually he'll say something about one thing or another, I don't expect him to talk about a lot of it tho. Just hope it helps get him in touch w/his feelings.

Sorry your H hasn't written. Not sure what mine'd do. W/email available, that's probably what I'd get & short ones at that.
As always, hang tougn.