All of this I believe was caused by me entertaining thoughts I believe came from Satan.... He wants to rob us of our lives and the joy of today..... He does NOT need to get us to do something really aweful... Satan just needs to keep us distracted with negative feelings.... I see that clearly now...
It really takes having been there with anxiety and depression to relate to what another person goes through. And the relief of finding a better way. The relief of actually "turning it over" and actually doing it. Actually unburdening yourself. Not just poetically. I mean realy, really real! You probably know what I mean.
I scripture that meant a lot to me when I was learning to come out of depression and anxiety a few years ago.... Luke 4:18... Jesus own words... (sorry... king james version... only one I could find close at hand)...
The Spirit of the Lord is upon me, because he hath anointed me to preach the gospel to the poor; he hath sent me to heal the brokenhearted, to preach deliverance to the captives, and recovering of sight to the blind, to set at liberty them that are bruised,
When I read this at the time when I first began to feel reprieve from depression and anxiety, it jumpped out at me with totally new life. Like one of those experiences where you feel like you are reading something for the first time yet it you know you have read/heard it a thousand times.
Man, brokenhearted and captive were two words that described me completely. And I began to find freedom from them by turning my will and life over to God as I understand him... which this God of the Bible and Jesus Christ. This is an instance where I talk about how I simply cannot disbelieve when I get nailed so strongly with an experience like this.
If I have a calling, I feel certain it would include helping people find freedom from captivity of depressed and anxious thinking. I have discovered so much about how my own thinking patterns work.
Yet I still have a faint amount of depression and anxiety try to show up from time to time to remind me and keep me grateful for the depths from which I came.
Thanks for having church with me this afternoon bro.
