Let Go, Let God

[AllW8SBF]

I know that some will cringe when they read Let Go, Let God. And the rest who know where I'm coming from will be like YEAH!

Well I'm doing that. I've been GAL, and doing some incredible things and even though my marriage is not back together or even close to that, my spirit is BACK!

Everyone who sees me says I'm happier. And I am but with times of fear and sadness. I don't want my marriage to be over, but I have started praying that the Lord gives me strength and guidance to do what is his will. My grandmother always taught me to never ask for a specific something from God, to pray he'll help you do as he has planned for me.

And I've seen him, even if not in my husband, he's still turkey crud and getting worse sometimes. But I see it in my thoughts, and my actions. There are so many times lately that I've seen God around me and it makes the fear a little less. Until...

We (H&I) have said we can't divorce till we pay off more of the mortgage and then sell it to break even. That we have discussed could be anywhere from 14-18 months.
And that we were not going to tell our family until after the holidays as not to screw up their holidays, we are still friends so we could go to a family event and be friends, it's not like we mack up at a family party.
But he came to me the other night first asking are you still holding out for this marriage. I said I didn't know, it differs from day to day and hour to hour. Then he says I don't think we should spend Thanksgiving or Christmas together. With my p's supposed to be coming to your parents house spending it with them/us and the rest of your family. And then Christmas we have tickets to Colorado to visit his family for Christmas and to top it off his mom wants a family portrait. It's just not a good idea. - Again I kinda put into his head the idea that Christmas will be tough cause she wants that picture. But I was just trying to get him to come out of the fog and say, no it won't cause I want to be with you, we won't be faking and that picture should have you as your my wife and will be forever...Ahhhhhh how sweet - Wake up Jen!
So I said I don't know, I can't right now, my parents and sis are going through a tough time and this will add to it. Well he wants an answer and Cheryl my db coach says nothing needs to be decided now.
I'm also with the idea - what do you think here-
1) Fine you tell your parents - the WHOLE story and the fact that I want to fight for this marriage and let them decide what they want to do.
2) Too bad buddy suck it up and deal with it, we've made the bed now lay in it.
3) Oh yeah and part of me wants to call his p's and tell them. But as much as I know they won't want us to divorce they are not the type to voice it, they ignore problems.


So what do you think - what would you do?

Well I'm going to continue to pray on this and pray for all of you, but would love to hear your opinions.