How do I trust again, and should I?

[Dash]

Making,

If I have learned one thing in my own situation it's this: Stop trying to figure out what's going on in her head. It will only make you crazy.

My WAW is involved with a 25 year old guy who lives in Germany and spends all of his time playing the game where they met, Second Life.

He's a long haired, heavy metal, head banger that rides a motor cycle. None of which have ever been appealing to my W before. Suddenly they are now? What sort of life will they lead if they get together in the real world? Does he really want to play daddy to someone else's child? I honestly doubt, knowing my WAW and how she works, that he even knows how old she is. She looks much younger.

I gave up on trying to figure it out. She's the one broken, not you. I have no doubt you made mistakes in your R. Who hasn't? But these WASs use any little thing and revisionist history to make them feel less guilty about what they're involved in.

Statistically speaking, it will not last. The question will be where your boundaries lie if she chooses to try to reconcile.

This isn't about you, her affair is about her, this was one of the things I found hardest to accept being a "fixer" myself. She is the one that will need to heal herself before the two of you can think of healing any R between the two of you. We cannot fix these women Making. I know you love her and wish you could, I feel the same about mine, but we have to know that we can't and more importantly we have to accept that we can't. We cannot even guide them, they must make their way on their own.

All we can do, if and when the time comes, is support them through their journey. How we do that will be determined by how they choose to make the journey.

Just my two cents as I'm no expert obviously.

Good luck.

Dash