I feel your wife's (and your) pain on this one, but I think allowing it to fuel depression and a lack of ml is completely unnacceptable. I am the vice-chair of the GOP in our county and an election day attorney. I was working from 6:30 AM until 3 AM the next day on the election, so if anyone would have justification to feel some depression about the results, it would be me (and many others who were "fighting the fight"), but that would be the wrong response. There were many reasons we lost the Presidential race and I am not going to list them here (I try to keep the SSM boards a politics free sanctuary as much as possible) but the way to respond is not by wallowing in misery and escaping into talk radio, it is by becoming even more involved in fighting for what you believe in. Your wife should join your local party (ours is only $10/year) and start becoming active in local races. This is how you really affect change and is a productive way to channel energy.
FYI, my wife loves talk radio as well, but has moved beyond Rush because Rush's main concern for a while now has been Rush, Inc. and is not what it used to be. My wife has Sirius and both of us have been listening a lot to "Afternoon Advice with Tiffany Granath" which is talk radio about sex and relationships. It hasn't affected our SL yet, but I can tell it is opening her up mentally. I don't want to hijack your thread, so I will post about that on mine at some point.
CB
Me; 42, W; 43 M; 16 yrs S12, D9
3/13 - "I want to move to XYZ City (four hours away) and it might be without you, not sure" 5/13 - "Not sure I meant that"
I really dont see how a 'party' can affect ones sex drive? But ... anyway.... I will stop being a b(tch, I am here to cheer you up.... see diane and I mean well. I agree do something for you, stop following her around like a little lost Puppy ( eyes rolling .. I did this sh*t too,, it doenst work...) When you GAL she will either join in or you will be filling yourself up more and getting better and you wont hurt so much.
GAL , Cinco and dont feel guilty about it! I still think you ahvent forgiven ourself for your past... STOP IT~ Do you owe her the rest of your life being sad and frustrated? NO~ Get out there and do something fun just for you and not to be "selfish" but to recharge you. There is a huge difference.
I have been guilty of this and guess what? You wake up oe day and realize life is far too short for all this BS~ take a break from being Super hubby and find you... All my best,,, ~Ava
One of my favorites...... watch it You need a break love. Take it ,, it doesnt mean you are leaving or staying it means you are giving yourself a gift. You deserve it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! K~ Ava
Thanks Diane, I know what you mean about trying to think about a year from now. The thing I found out today was no question was asked to her Dr. about the pain Her reason was she was way too embarrassed to ask about that (woman Dr. BTW). At least she was honest about it with me. She wants to just try lubing consistently and see how that goes first.
I'm going to start taking daily walks. I can tell my lack of activity is messing with the way I am feeling too.
CB - Wow... You are active! I like the idea of trying to get her interested in the local pol scene. We vote and that's about it. If we had been more active, we might still have our incumbent rep to our state house instead of the dem that got elected. It was a pretty close race too.
Still to be depressed over something like that to the point of affecting your M and family? It would be cool if I could switch her over to a sex talk show instead....Hmmmm
I gave her 5 Love Languages to read now. And BIG NEWS.... a quicky favor just for me happened last night! Maybe there is hope after all.
Ava, Thanks for looking in on me. You know it puts a smile on my face when you do. I'm going for a walk now. The weather here is nice, sun is out and about 70. I need to enjoy the beauty of this day.
Ava, Thanks for looking in on me. You know it puts a smile on my face when you do. I'm going for a walk now. The weather here is nice, sun is out and about 70. I need to enjoy the beauty of this day.
ARGHHHHHHHHHHHH on the doctor, BUT....... On the bright side, she did tell you and has a plan. IT might be ok still, because if the lube doesn't work like she wants, then she will have to talk to the doctor, and she also was letting you know when she felt pain, so I do see this as GOOD improvement. Focus on the positive there. Weeeeeeeeeee you,.... lol ( baby steps )
I agree with Ava fully........ She will either join you, or you will have done all you can. Like you told me one day, " Hang in there " :P
On another note : Wanted to say that >. Ava, You are a breath of fresh air!
Hey, Cinco. Let us know how the lube works if you try it.
To do things together that meet the need to follow politics, there's gotta be a Republican Club in your town. Maybe volunteer or attend meetings. Another idea might be to go on line to some of the sites that have factual info about issues in charges made on speeches, in ads, etc. In the spirit of "Who is telling me this? Where did he get his information? Why does he want me to believe him? What benefit will he get if I act on his information?" (Or plain old "follow the dollar")Some of the "debunking" sites may set your W's fears at rest, or at least give her a little peace of mind.
I had occasion to see FoxNews and CNN on side-by side TV's awhile back when a breaking news event was unfolding. It was interesting to see the difference in tone of the information, speculations and comments. Also in how quickly which of the two stations reported the actual facts and outcome. CNNH was on at the same time as was CNBC. It was a nonpolitical story but still showed differences in coverage: "the sky is falling" and "we only have a few facts at this time". Gotta tell ya, kid, if your emperor's naked I have the dam**est time not pointing it out. I'd find the disparities & slanted story presentations funny if it weren't so darn manipulative. Our city used to have 2 newspapers & often you'd think the reporters were on 2 different planets by the differences in the way they wrote up the same event LOL.
Those media folk who have their own shows want one thing regardless of party affiliation: RATINGS! The station can charge more for advertising time on their shows, make more money, make the stockholders happy, keep the bosses employed... so presenting anything objective in a calm manner is so NOT the way they can afford to go. The sex talk shows get pretty high ratings...and you get to listen to people who are worse off than you & feel better Maybe change the station.... J
me: 66 H:60 2 adult sons 2 grandsons adult daughter deceased 5/05 me:Part time trainer H: plant suprv.
I'm hardly one to give advice but I guess I'm going to try.
My 2 cents is maybe your obsessing about this and "things" a little too much right now. I'm sure the job thing is VERY stressfull. IMHO it looks like she actually is trying some. Unless my math is wrong you've gotten some action three times in the last two weeks. IMHO that isn't all that bad. That's all I've gotten in close to three months and I think I'm not the only one here. Maybe backing off on the "pressure" you are putting on yourself wanting your marriage and relationship to be what you desire (and her) could lighten the air a little. Maybe doing some GAL type of stuff would make her feel a little less pressured. I think you said that you being around so much and that being different is affecting her. It might be feeling a little smothering to her. She isn't getting the personal space she is used to. Just an idea.
Keep your head up and remain hopefull. IMHO your getting some feedback and some participation and that is a positive thing and would give me some hope. Count your blessings. It's way more than I'm getting - mine isn't even trying sexually and barely emotionally and appears to not want to or care. We did C today and I heard the same old thing - more of what's wrong with me and the reason things are like they are is all me. At this time I don't think she cares much about "us" or if we stay together. She tells me she loves me but it's very hollow. It's bizaar - she's a big "actions speak louder than words" person - yet there is no action on her part. For now I've given up trying sexually and while I think she has noticed she's done/said nothing. You at least are getting some effort and feedback. Want to trade ?
Jayce - I know what you mean about the exaggerated slant on those shows. I really prefer to read news than to listen to it, it's much quicker that way and I can skip the articles I don't care about. If do I want some "slant" I read an editorial column, my fav is Walter Williams.
I really wish I could get her to change the station. Even just a reduction in the amount that she listens too would help. Maybe when she is working again it will force a reduction of all of her "air time". She's looking for a job now too.
Stillhope - Yes the stress is there for sure, really working on that. I know it sounds like I've really got it pretty good as far as frequency. That isn't the trouble, it's that whenever we ML it hardly ever feels genuine from her. It feels like she is doing this only to please me, like it's an obligation. Sure she'll have an O but I want her to want this for herself not just me. It actually has gotten somewhat better.... Maybe I'm asking for too much?
Her reason was she was way too embarrassed to ask about that (woman Dr. BTW). At least she was honest about it with me. She wants to just try lubing consistently and see how that goes first.
Maybe there is hope after all.
I'm going for a walk now. The weather here is nice, sun is out and about 70. I need to enjoy the beauty of this day.