the mlc files--I want to believe

[BeingMe]

I think he will continue to do so unless he does work and comes through the tunnel a grown-up.

That would be nice, especially for your D12.

I'm afraid I'll have to deal with him until D is grown.

Yes, you will have to deal with him/them in one sense, but it will (I hope) mostly be on your terms. At the moment, you are almost hostage to his whims and everything is new. There are so many firsts involved here --- first family Thanksgiving (or any holiday), first family funeral, and so forth. I think once you've been through the first year, and most things have been sorted out, logistically, emotionally, legally, financially, then things will settle, and you'll be able to deal with all of this less emotionally. It is, of course, sad that you appear to have lost not only your H, but your family. Time will tell if the family part can be resurrected. I sure do hope so!

I agree with sending flowers and a card --- perhaps put D12's name first?