They cannot let go of the past. My h keeps things in a bag in his trunk--notes that the kids and I have written him over the last few years as well as cards and pictures.
The Bomb: 08/05 H moves out: 06/2006 H moves back: 01/07 & Out again: 01/07 H moves back: 03/08 & Out again: 04/08 H moves back: 05/09 & Out again: 07/09 Divorced 08-12 Kids: 22, 20, 19
I forgot to post this earlier and just remember while driving out to get lunch...
The other night when H dropped D back home, he was writing me a check and looking for a pen in his visor. He has pics from our wedding there and our twins birth/death announcement. He has always had them there to look at us back then. I just wonder why he still has them there.
Our wedding pic and other photos of me--even family photos including me--disappeared from H's wallet within a week of the bomb. D's still there--he still considers himself a stellar dad--but I've been long gone for months.
M60 H52 D20 M14 yrs OW-old gf from 1986 bomb-5/18/08 H filed for D-9/10/08 D final 4/24/09 xH remarried (not OW) 2012
My H took his pics of me out of his wallet within days...but I know he keeps them with his memory stuff. Nice to know he didnt shred them!
Hey FG...hope you are doing good today!! It is a beautiful day here on the east coast! Enjoying the sunshine for a change!! Have a great day!!
Kissak
"What time I am afraid, I will trust in thee." Psalms 56:3 M-37 H-37 S-10, D-15 M- 1993 First bomb- 12/23/06 Came and went too MANY times! Gone again 10-25-10
Well then I should be glad the wedding pics didn't end up in the trash then. It's just confusing to me. If he didn't want this M then why keep those pics? Why keep anything with me in them? Butthead.
I hope everyone's having a good day today. Enjoy the day before the winter season hits hard!
Like I said, they cannot totally let go of the past and I do believe that they cannot figure out why they are doing what they are doing. Those pics serve as a reminder for what they had/have.
Do not think for a minute that he wants you out of his life forever. They are in a state of confusion for a long, long time.
The Bomb: 08/05 H moves out: 06/2006 H moves back: 01/07 & Out again: 01/07 H moves back: 03/08 & Out again: 04/08 H moves back: 05/09 & Out again: 07/09 Divorced 08-12 Kids: 22, 20, 19
Okay, so I'm stirring here today. Yesterday I was talking to my sister after I called my 10yo niece to bug her about Obama winning. She comes out and asks "what's going on with you and H?" I told her I'm giving him his space, he's going to IC and hope that this helps him and our M. She said "yea, well its been over 2 years now Dar" (cuz she ALWAYS knows best!) Then I said "2 years is nothing if its going to help him and/or the M the rest of the time." She changed the subject right away. THEN, about 1 1/2 hours after that, she left me a vm while I was picking up D from Religious Ed class. Her message told me to watch Super Nanny on Friday since it's about a family that's also seperating/divorcing and the kid has questions that aren't being answered. She said to watch it with D to "help us". WTF?
Dar you don't need a nanny show to discuss separation issues with your D. It's made for TV.
Discussing all of this with others who don't understand is pointless. They mean well but have no concept. The world's stance and always will be D is better and easier. It takes an amazing individual to stand and love unconditionally.
I was suprised though my brother called me the other day whom I speak to maybe once a year and his stance in the beginning was move on Glam h is not worth it, well he actually said he was glad that I was trying to work it out with h.
It's your life Dar, live it as you see fit!
Me 50 H 42 S 22 S 9 D 7 M 12 T 17 H moved out 8/2006 H moved home 1/2007 for 3 weeks H moved home 5/2011 for good
"Learn from yesterday ~ Live for today ~ And hope for tomorrow"
My sister who is married to a preacher said to me just last week, "isn't it time you filed for divorce?" to that I said, "no, we still love each other, want to be together, and he is going thru something he needs to deal with. this is not about ow."
Don't take it personally what other people say you should/should not do. They have no idea what it is like to walk in your shoes.
The Bomb: 08/05 H moves out: 06/2006 H moves back: 01/07 & Out again: 01/07 H moves back: 03/08 & Out again: 04/08 H moves back: 05/09 & Out again: 07/09 Divorced 08-12 Kids: 22, 20, 19
