Believe me Bagheera, I wholeheartedly agree with you. I have on numerous occasions tried to convince her to stop or at least reduce the amount of listening she does and can't get through to her how this harms her outlook on life. I may be conservative but I don't dwell on it, life's too short to brood over problems you have no control over. The more I think about it, the more I realize she was all pissy over my interrupting her "radio time" by being here all day long.
It is a fundamental problem between us. I'm not sure if it can be solved either. It really makes me sad for her because she lets this interfere with her happiness. Instead of looking for things to bring joy to her life she is looking for things to be mad about. I'm not sure if I can live much longer with a woman who is so angry at really everything. It seems to get worse all the time.
Oh my Cinco.... now the earbuds? And b/c the Democatic Party won? Lions and tigers and bears oh my............. I think she needs some Ruby Slippers.... No advice love.... just thinking of you. I am starting to think though that she uses many things as an excuse not to live, not to participate or show up. All my best to you honey .... Hang in there..... I will say this .... my Aunt hung on to her M forever.... she got a Divorce ( said that is that and then ? 2 years later died of an anuersim... IT broke my heart....) I am not saying D~ I hate that word... but I am saying you deserve to be happy too. Are you really supposed to spend your whole life trying to make her happy ? I know you love her.... does she really love you in return? Playing devils advocate ... seeing as Strong and Alive isnt chiming in..... The way I see it is she likes the way she lives and sees nothing wrong with it, she unfortunately is blind to your heartache or really doesnt care.... I see you repeat more often that you are close to the end of your rope..... Love ya... ~Ava
The more I realized that i had to let go and let my husband step up the happier I have become..... You are trying to hard ( I know all about that ) You are letting her have too much power.... there is a fine line between her wanting her space and being rude to you and I feel like she is crossing it.... Can you work on yoru Music instead of being home so much? Does she miss you when you are gone too long? Free time is all fine and dandy but she is acting ike 68 year old not a 48 year old.... She is still young... Do you think you can ever get her to see this?
I know I always defended her , but she is not wanting to walk beside you. She seems stuck? Just my 2 cents.. ~Ava
I can totally understand and empathize with the wanting it done > YESTERDAY way of thinking as WE have been waiting for years, ( or however long in everyone's circumstance ) and they finally get on board and were thinking, OK>> Wheres the change, I need it now! It is VERY difficult to take that step back and take a breath........ so
.............. breath............. one two
However I do agree with everyone here, and feel horrible for you. So sorry it seems to be so hard. I will say this, and pardon me for saying this. BUT......... I think you should still follow through with your year plan though. ( just my opinion ) Because I think right now is a rough patch, and if I am reading you right, I think for YOU, you need to follow thru with it, so if and when it does end, you will be able to walk away with no regrets. And maybe, just maybe, it will get better, and those baby steps will get bigger. Maybe time for another little heart to heart in the form of a letter. Seemed to work last time, maybe she's like my H, and needs that for the first baby steps... just another thought.
I agree with Diane... I do remember saying I was going to wait a year too and things have made a drastic turn around.... so I guess anything is possible? Maybe I am too close to you? I feel like she is dragging her feet.... yes she did 'devour ' you on your Anniversary. ( that deserves some credit !) Ok I will take my ball home now and I will stay quiet again for a bit. All my best,,, ~Alice in Wonderland....
Thanks everyone for giving me some sympathy today. It just sucks to be me right now.
DQ - I got to make this quick (time for dinner). I did laugh at your Bush = sex. I wish this weren't true, but after our reconciliation and the republicans had control of congress and Bush was in there (guess I should look back and see exactly the dates), the sex was actually pretty good then. We were still ML once a week or more and even doing it in places *other* than the bedroom. I never made this connection.... It's crazy but I think it's true.
Diane & Ava - I'm having a very hard time now seeing myself sticking to the one year plan. I wish I had more I could do outside of the home. My mom's moving to assisted living (great news for her) so I have her move to keep me occupied for now. It's an unfurnished apartment so have to hire some movers to move a few things and hang pictures and stuff.
I haven't forgotten W's 'devouring' me post anniversary but still think it wouldn't have happened had I not withdrawn from her as I did.
I'll keep waiting for her *for now*. I've said enough to her for this week and it was plenty. She has been a little more attentive today but who knows how long it will last.
Tell you what, forget the year plan, and just go week by week, or a month by month. I think maybe looking at a year right now is a little daunting for you, and it would be for any of us. I know for myself at this point, I now think of a year and I almost get depressed. It's just too long to imagine when your feeling so overwhelmed and frustrated. Maybe we need to look at this a little more slowly if you know what I mean. That way you ( we ) don't get discouraged when things don't quite go the way we want.As you said, we all have been waiting so long, that we want is YESTERDAY!
( Another thought ) Your obviously somewhat fed up right now. Why not just worry about making YOU happy for now. Do something you miss, find a hobby you gave up a long time ago cause of time. Do things for you, and maybe this will not only get you in a better place, but might make wifey think she has to step it up..!! :P
Sorry it's been a rough week for you. Keep smiling!!
