It took you 9 years to see what an a** you have been its going to take her time to belive the changes in you are for real. She will talk to you in negatives for quite a while. She has detached emotionally from you to stop the pain and lonelyness she has felt for many years. Its typical WAW spew, accept it for now. Its how she is feeling now and your are correct the only thing you are in control of is your actions and words.
Chose them wisely and let the M/R go for now. Time will tell if she regains those feeling for you. Consistancy in your words and actions from here on out is essential. If you backslide or say one thing but do another that will hinder your progress. Anger is you worst enemy. Do not let it control you and take over your actions. You know your triggers and so does she and she will watch when something happens that would normally upset you and see how you react.
Last thing, if she belives in god and is a religous person how does she explain breaking her marriage vows and sleeping with the OM. The two contradict each other IMHO.
