The realization that W is forging ahead without me is slowly sinking in. I have to admit that I am in a funk. A good friend of ours asked some interesting questions (fairly simple ones) that I had trouble answering. At the risk of making this sound like a cliche, I can only take care of me (which I have been doing a so so job at recently) and D7. W and D7 called from the bus stop which I have to admit I like. W gave me some news about her business and I was my usual self...ok so I gave it a little LL in there (words of affirmation I think it is). I guess it can't hurt to be nice. Looking forward to a weekend with D7 and my dad's birthday on Saturday....thank God for my parents....they have been extremely supportive.
We've known you are in a funk for the last couple of days... It will pass. We are all "veterans" here. Nothing can "break us" anymore. Just a bumb, a detour on our way to... happy as Bbj says...
Go find a bunny, or something else fluffy and cuddly, rest your mind and soul, breathe and let go. Sometimes, our only choice is actually a good one for us. Only we get to realise that much much later. Who knows? This year has been so full of... surprises for all of us. Let's just sit back and see what the next one will bring. If the universe is "fun" of balance, this next year must be full of joy and good times... Get ready... Love K
I hope the evening finds you with more sunshine than the day!
The 'sinking in' process is such a pain in the patookie. I think you almost have to get really mad in a way that jump starts your system. I know this happened to me recently. I have all these boundaries now and heightened awareness now.
I don't really know that I am holding on. It's weird...I can not get mad at her and we all know that I have ample reason. If I can't figure it out, she probably can not either. What I need is to jumpstart my system. I have not found a way to do it yet. Perhaps I just need a little more time....I don't really know. Maybe it is just loneliness. Maybe it's this damn sun settting way too early up here. I will pickup D7 right after school. Maybe she can get me out of my funk. Imagine that, I am relying on a 7 year old to give me a boost. Shouldn't I be the rock in her life?
Hey John, sorry to break it to you man. You aren't made of granite. You are a flesh and blood mark one mod zero human being and as such you sometimes are in a funk. When that happens, sometimes the little ones can give you a boost or at least be a catalyst.
I'm not sure if Kalni was having a little slip there, or if that is more a reflection on my state of mind, but, I read her reply as finding a bunny or someone soft and cuddly
The W went to Vegas over the weekend with her new mister wonderful and that really cemented in my mind that it is virtually certain that things are over. Now, I'm really starting to move on, to construct a life with my kids that is of my design without her input.
So, don't sweat the process. It takes time to decouple.
Do not make me come to (O!) Canada and give you a wedgie so big you'd wish you wearing that thong!
Children by their very nature ARE PMA boosters.. they help jump start energy. Relying on her as a source of support is bad. Savoring the child she is, is good.
Moping is for mops!
Wallowing is like not being able to get out of the sand trap. You're so frustrated you just keep whacking the ball and getting sand everywhere and you get nowhere. Toss the ball out.. sheesh.
When I remember to do work, something physical, something I've been avoiding or my favorite.. 'constructive destruction' (like hacking down overgrown bushes etc) something magical happens. My frustrations filter down to the key points and I get breathing room. Pity parties and wallowing are all places I've had to experience but I feel much better when I'm able to extricate myself from that.
John Boy... you are an incredible man with an phenomenal sense of humor. Hop to!
thank you very much for the pep talks....the compliments and of course making me smile.
I don't think I have had a wedgie administered to me since elementary school. My question is what do you call a thong wedgie? Does it even exist? I may actually go out and buy one of those things this weekend.....not the fury type though.
By the way...and i do not even know why i mention this, W sent me an e-mail last night at 10:30 saying: I simply wanted to wish you a good night.
I know..... I know get out of the sand trap. Well believe it or not, I can probably get out of a sand trap with a putter faster than i can get out of this state of mopedom.
You guys know me by now...probably better than some of my family. I can`t stay mad for more than 15 minutes. I hope I can be fun for longer than that though :-)
