I'd like to say that she is; but in my observation she hasn't really reached a point where I could honestly say that is the case.
IMHO, I believe that she has been unhappy for the last three years. I think that she feels she's settled and not really living her life as she wants it. She has picked up a single friend that is in nursing school who is unmarried with a little son. I assuming that this girl has told her of all the "free" money she's getting for school by being a single mom. My W has mentioned this a few times to her mother, me, and some others about this. She has also expressed some concern that she will not qualify because of my income; for any of this free help. So now my W has started nursing school and is wanting the "free" money.
She has shirked 99% of her maternal responsibilites in the last 2 months; and before that I would say she shirked nearly 60-70% during the previous 5 months. Over the course of the M, when I've not been on business trips; I still did more of the parenting duties. It's evident in the fact that the kids always come to me when they need something.
As far as spiraling downward in the last 8 months, she has turned into a single teenager that wants to do nothing but party, chase men, and come home whenever she feels like it. She seems to have slowed a bit; but I wonder if that's a function of the fact that I have quit supporting that lifestyle financially. I still pay her car payment and insurance; and she has been free to eat whatever groceries I buy. But she's having to pay for all of her fun now, her cell phone, and her gas. I also wonder if her girlfriends are tiring of her, because she's never been one to keep most of her female relationships together.
She has dropped counseling, it appears. She told me this morning that she has quit taking her ADs. I don't know if that's good or bad. But with her propensity for BPD behavior; I think once she's out on her own, facing real responsibilites that I've always faced for her she will fall. I hope I'm wrong; but she seems to think that she's going to be able to keep the kid's lifestyle the same while she goes to school full-time, makes $250 per week at a part time job, and has me paying alimony. She also wants me to be able to stay in the same house I'm in now. I think that she's in for a rude awakening that may send her down the spiral; but that's just my thinking. Again, I hope I'm wrong for the kid's sake.
Right now, she is proposing that she will live by herself and we will share custody. But I question her motives in that (I'm thinking "free" money here) since just last night she still didn't come home. I don't care how unhappy you are in your M; you come home to your kids regardless. I'm going to post on the changing dynamics of this sitch in a little bit.
