Is it pity. I know that it is a s*&# load of emotion and I try to put logic to those feelings , why do I feel that way, what is my fear.... I feel jealousy creeping in now. I do not want that feeling. Everyone that knows him say it is strange behaviour and that he is just punishing. That gives me a little hope but in my head I dont want hope , I want to get over him so that I am a healthy adult.
