If I lock this one, I apologize to you all in advance.
Sunshine, I think your calling and telling him you were sorry for how you acted is a good first step, but I do agree that you will need to find a way to soften things w/ him.
This is the spot where I think you have to lead him a bit. I know you don't want to "lead" but he's not sure of what to do and I can't blame him. He's walking on eggshells trying to figure out how to make you happy and he's not really getting much information from you. So, he keeps dancing around delicately.
My suggestion would be to simply tell him you are cold and distant b/c you are afraid of getting hurt. Tell him exactly what you need from him. Take his hand and look him in the eye and let him know that you've never felt this type of hurt before and you will not go through it again.
Let him know if you start to open up to him and he hurts you, you'll be gone in an instant and never look back. He needs to hear this from you - clearly, directly - in order to get it.
Once you've told him - and I mean spelled it out so clearly that an idiot could get it - you should then be able to relax a bit. He'll know you are serious and you'll finally have told him EXACTLY what you've wanted to say.
If you keep waiting for him to make the move, you'll keep waiting and being frustrated. He doesn't know what to do and he's really trying to do something, anything to please you and show he's a different man.
Now is the time for you to gently lead him to the path, show him the direction he is to walk, and then let him go on his own. He'll follow if you show him the way. Right now, he's lost and he's doing the best he can.
