Trying2Live-Post #3

[Trying2live]

Marisol,
I like that fact that you are really staying on the not answering right away thing. Nice!

I can understand you confusion, I mean its like love hate for all of us. Its hard not to loop the action into the person if that makes sense.

I do however like some of the answers you gave to him in that conversation. The negative emotions stuff, try and reduce but not all of that was bad. You see you hear a lot of fog babble, so its kinda good to fog babble the same stuff back. Like If they say I don't love you anymore, you can say yeah I noticed you don't love me anymore stuff like that. Remember only listen to very little of what comes out its fog talk.

I liked to think that you have to hit rock bottom before you can look up. Maybe these men need a little of that to see what they have. Im not saying be snotty, but that's where detaching and pulling back just a bit is good. I mean the 1st 5 months I probably only talked to my H maybe 4 times for an ENTIRE month and that probably was via email or text and for the most part saw him maybe 5-6 for the whole 5 month period. I have now implemented plan A in the SAA book and will be stopping and goin got Plan B on Nov 22nd.

If he wants the D I think its great what you said, its fine to say ya know this is so painful for me I don't want a D and I just can deal with it right now and I was hoping maybe we can hold off for a bit maybe we can tackle this after the holidays how would you feel about that? This might buy you some time.

Have you read SAA? Do you know what his emotional needs are? Ladies if you don't know your spouses top 5 emotional needs per the book its like fighting a losing battle. But remember most of you are in the stage of reducing negative emotions and detaching a bit.

And now that your moved in it's time to find you a fun GAL activity.

Now if your H does come back ladies that's where the SAA helps because there is a clear cut plan and conditions before they can come back. They must approve the conditions before you let them in or it could happen all over again as part of this is an addiction.

If H ever did come back you would need possibly a financial condition for him to agree to. That would be the wisest choice. Ok back later gotta go to church....