I'm interested in hearing about people's experiences with going no contact with their unfaithful and unrepentant spouses and particuarly when there are children involved.
I have been DB'ing for close to eight months now, first two months post bomb did the usual, but wrong, stuff.
I am not certain yet I want to go no contact with my wife but I often think of it and wonder how others have done that have followed this route with children involved.
I have not actually had much contact with my wife over the past few months, other than child related activities. Things have been very civil, almost "normal" friendly at times but I feel this is because I have done such a good job at stuffing down my emotions and always being civil, nice and friendly.
I'm far from certain that my wife is reconsidering things, she is maybe just relieved that I am not making life difficult for her.
I often find interactions with her draining and still find myself to be angry, resentful and distrustful due to her affair, bailing on our marriage and family, taking my child away from me half the time as well as the usual unfaithful "script" of blameshifting, gaslighting, and "I'm sorry but you made me do it" type bs. It really shocks me that she never asks how I am doing with it, how I am coping with her affair and her subsequent emotional and physical abandonment.
Again, I often find myself asking, why do I want this woman back? Someone who did such a terrible selfish thing and does not show me remorse or concern? Everyday I work on forgiveness but it is hard when she is not looking for forgiveness.
So, I am considering total no contact, other than essential emails to do with our daughter. No face to face or phone contact unless absolutely necessary and no interaction from me if I do see her. I feel this may be a good option for me in terms of healing and moving on but I do not want to damage my daughter or come across as a mean bitter guy who is only doing this to punish his ex.
I am not proposing this for ever, just for an adequate period of time.
I am not totally at this stage yet but feel I might be soon and would really appreciate in support or evidence that people may have.
