I am frustrated with everything right now, including my snot-nosed boss. Is this normal or am I just going through some inner struggles regarding being spiritual? I feel tense, some anger, resentment, and pressure to overcome all the obstacles I want to overcome. Or maybe I'm just tired? Well I am but I am trying to get my bankruptcy moving, I get paid little so bills are late, and it feels like a catch 22.
I don't even know if the church I am thinking about going to is right for me? I mean I don't see anyone following up on me, so its hard for me to want to open up when they know I have been going and trying to reach out.
I'm getting frustrated - that's what I feel at the moment. And I can't even turn to a friend because they all got their own agendas to deal with. I tried to make small talk about a baptist co-worker here and see if he could open up about his church. Nope, nothing. I even told him - I'm thinking about joining a church - no offer, no invite, nothing. Oh well.
~Sol
~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Single Dad, and luvin it! ~ Happiness is a state of mind ~
I don't even know if the church I am thinking about going to is right for me? I mean I don't see anyone following up on me, so its hard for me to want to open up when they know I have been going and trying to reach out.
I'm getting frustrated - that's what I feel at the moment. And I can't even turn to a friend because they all got their own agendas to deal with. I tried to make small talk about a baptist co-worker here and see if he could open up about his church. Nope, nothing. I even told him - I'm thinking about joining a church - no offer, no invite, nothing. Oh well.
Sol, the one thing I've learned is that other Christians can frequently be the biggest turn off to those of us looking to become spiritual. My suggestion is that you attend the church you're interested in, meet with the Pastor, check out some of their activities such as bible study etc. You have to make connections, they won't come to you! I know this is a time in our lives when we want others to be there for us but, just like your friends, other Christians have their own lives and agendas too. You have to make it happen, simple as that. Be open to every opportunity to interact and become involved then you will really be able to judge whether a church meets your needs or not. Sitting in a pew waiting for people to "follow up" on you is not gonna work! Dive in there, if you like the services, like the Pastor, then give the people a chance. It's hard work, don't I know it! Keep at it though and you will find a place that is right for you.
Sol, I just wanted to add to the above post. When you get out there and make good things happen, better things will start coming your way! Tonight, I went to my first new Christians group and I was the only one who showed up! My commitment to attending meant that I had a wonderful 1.5 hour talk with the group leader, who is willing to meet me every Wednesday to talk shop and invited me to join a small group that she leads on Sunday afternoons where I can meet more people. When I first started going to the church I very quickly introduced myself to the Pastor and upon hearing I was recently separated he asked if I'd like to get together and meet with him sometime, we set up a meeting and we had a great chat about my spiritual journey, his church, my doubts about Christ and the remnants of my crappy life. He and I have agreed to meet again soon to have a second round. I also signed up for and went to the church Welcome lunch for newcomers, although on that day I really wanted to curl up in a ball and die on my living room floor (it was the anniversary of my separation), and I met a lovely Filipino family who saved me and my family a place at their table for lunch. So again, it's all about pushing yourself and when you do, good things will happen. I also empathize with your frustration with those who are supposed to be setting Christian examples of fellowship. I work for a Christian organization and when I began to tell people of my new church going ways not one christian ever bothered to drop by and say "hey, welcome aboard. What church do you go to" Nobody! Both women who have been a disappointment to me since my separation are both Christians. So I believe it was Paul who said that at times even when he wanted to do good, he did bad! I think part of the whole Jesus thing is realizing that we're all a bunch of f@ck ups but we gotta love each other anyway Sol, you WILL find the church that's right for you...sermon over!
I didn't know how much I was beating myself up over this - as soon as I got home, I made a hot dinner for me and my daughter, we ate, and I got consumed with a nap soon after. I went to go lay down, and poor thing thought I wasn't home because she didn't hear me! She found me in my bedroom and woke me up. I told her I was going to lie down but I guess her computer gaming distracted her. I took another nap on the sofa and was out like a light!
Just too much stress happening for me at the same time - it got me very exhausted and I felt it. Heck tomorrow is a new day, well better get the rest I need so I can tackle another day again!
I'm going to stick around after next Sunday service and catch my pastor then.
~Sol
~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Single Dad, and luvin it! ~ Happiness is a state of mind ~
From your second to last post....you KNOW what you need to do. This woman just doesn't come with a small overnight bag of baggage, she has an entire moving van full of it. You are NEVR going to sort that one out. The STD is just an added incentive! Don't push a R you aren't sure of. Your a young guy with LOTS of time to heal and wait for someone without three failed marriages. It's easier for us on the outside, but c'mon, man!
I hear ya. I'm gonna be honest with myself here. Chasing after this woman will lead to what I already know to be another bad relationship - and I like not having any diseases I can prevent. I wanted to fill a void that I thought I needed to fill - which just opens up more problems. I don't think it's going to happen anyway since I get frustrated just thinking about it. But I am plugging myself into church life - I just came back from a meeting at a friends baptist church - good everyday hard-working people that I met tonight. Heck, it was one of the few churches where I felt sincerely welcomed.
I don't really know what has changed in me, but I have this strong urge to just get back to God - and in a serious and diligent way. I'm taking this slow but steady, and making it my main focus at this point in my life. I haven't prayed this much about anything in years, so it's a welcome relief and it's also helping me to see relationships in a different way.
I know that I am following the desires of my flesh, which is what got me in a bad marital relationship that should never have happened. I'm not going to make the same mistake - I honestly believe that. The more time goes by the more I am getting detached from this person.
~Sol
~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Single Dad, and luvin it! ~ Happiness is a state of mind ~
Sol, don't listen to FLTC, an STD can happen to any woman using a public washroom! As for the three divorces, she must be loaded with cash by now so I say go for it! Hey, so she has a poor track record, maybe she's a sprinter and not a long distance runner. We've each got our special skill sets! Sol, in my mind this is a no brainer, if you don't bag her I'm gonna...but then I'm kinda stoned on codeine cough medicine right now so maybe I'll just go back to watching the football game, Browns are winning!
Sol, don't listen to FLTC, an STD can happen to any woman using a public washroom! As for the three divorces, she must be loaded with cash by now so I say go for it! Hey, so she has a poor track record, maybe she's a sprinter and not a long distance runner. We've each got our special skill sets! Sol, in my mind this is a no brainer, if you don't bag her I'm gonna...but then I'm kinda stoned on codeine cough medicine right now so maybe I'll just go back to watching the football game, Browns are winning!
Wii you are drinking too much NyQuil!!!! If you're gonna talk gibberish I suggest you smoke something with that cough medicine! Heck, you're probably in the mood to get someone's face tattooed on your a$$!!!
Stick to the football! I'm staying away from this woman and leaving it up to the good Lord to send me a great catch from any of these churches I'm going to!
~Sol
~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Single Dad, and luvin it! ~ Happiness is a state of mind ~
