Finally a new wifey thread

[The Wifey]

{{{Wifey}}} Where ya been my friend..you doing okay?

Tawnya

I'm glad you asked because I have just enough energy to do a real quick journal and then head home from work after about 11 hours of working. This is budget season and so I will often wind up here for this long. (Only 3 months out of the year that is this intense.)

I've been good. I really did well with hanging loose and just being damned glad to be at home.

Yesterday I think we had a little breakthrough. He started a conversation that turned to R talk. I thought, oh no, but I calmly handled all of what he asked and what he talked about. Then I looked him in the eye and told him I loved him, period, no ifs, ands or buts about it. That I didn't need anything else to be happy, not a career, not education, not money, not fancy things.

He kind of shook a bit and then told me that for the longest time he hasn't felt like he was my priority. That I had ambitions and things I wanted to do. And I went and did really good things for other people, which made me a good person, but he hasn't been my priority.

I looked him in the eye and told him that he was my priority. H said I know you mean that now. But it wasn't that way 5 months ago and I don't know that will be the case 5 months from now. I repeated you are my priority for about ten minutes and tears starting rolling down his cheeks. He kept staring into my eyes the whole time I said it. I didn't blink, I didn't look away, and I kept saying it.

Then I kissed him and he grabbed me and hugged me. I just don't know if it was only me that felt a little change. Almost like he had hope that I really could make him that priority.

He slept in the other bedroom, but I know I had a hard time sleeping. I wanted to just slap myself for not realizing how he felt until the bomb dropped. He is so right!

Still a long, long hard road to go. But I think I really understood how he felt. I love the man more than anyone in this world and he felt like I didn't need him and he was only part of the woodwork instead of the most precious person in the world to me. I did take him for granted and thought he would always be there.

Now I am going to pray all the way home. I spent quite a bit of time cleaning and doing laundry before I went to work. He used to complain because I would get busy and not keep up at home. I realize that I may have to work late, but I don't have to come in early, too. I have time to show him that he and our house are a priority.

And thanks, Poet, I am going to take your suggestion to prepare some food tonight that he can heat up to eat tomorrow.

Pray everyone, pray really hard. If I have any energy after he goes to sleep I will check on all of you. Got to drive home now and miss the deer if at all possible.